Flock Life
by shmabs
Summary: Just a little series i decided to start. It's gonna have LOTS of Fax. it'll probably have some cussing and inuendoes and stuff, so T cause i'm paranoid. i suck at summaries, so please R
1. Wake up Max

_I was sitting on a dark barnacle covered rock looking out over the ocean, marveling at how beautiful the sun looked when it was reflected on the dark waves, doubling its brilliance, when I saw a ripple spread out from the calm water. A dark head rose out of the ocean, dripping wet, followed by tanned and muscular shoulders. _

_Fang. _

_He walked towards me slowly; water running over his body, eyes burning into my own, and it was almost like I was hypnotized. Dumbly, I stood up from my perch, coming to stand in front of him, trying my best to look half as sexy as he did. He brought his hand up, cupping my cheek, and whispered softly, "Max, wake up." _

Huh?

_His mouth came towards mine, full lips parting slightly as he said again, "Max, wake UP." _

Ugh, please don't tell me this is a dream.

"Max? Max, come on, you promised us that you would take us to Bojangles this morning. You promised us. And you know how much I love their Cheddar Bo's and Bo Berry's. I like their fries too, but only if they don't put that much seasoning on them 'cause if they do they're just waaaaaay too spicy, ya know? You just can't let Gazzy get their beans and stuff 'cause if you do he's gonna make us puke on the ride back. Do you remember that one time when he actually did make me-"

I bet you'll never guess who that was. (note sarcasm)

I groaned and pried my eyelids open to the sight of five excited bird kids (well really it was only four because You Know Who- and no I do NOT mean Voldemort, and YES I have read the Harry Potter books- never gets excited about ANYTHING) so there were five super excited bird kids, and one completely impassive bird kid, waiting to go to Bojangles for breakfast like I'd promised them. I felt so stupid sometimes. I mean really, why did I go and promise these kids to wake up at, let's see here, 7o'clock in the frickin' morning, when I had stayed up 'till 4 last night because I couldn't sleep? Oh yeah, now I remember; Bambi eyes, a.k.a. the bane of my existence. The same eyes that all the kids, not including Iggy and Fang, were giving me right now.

I growled and had to hold back a curse word.

"All right, all right, I'm up, now please get out of my room so I can change."

"OHMYGOSH, thank you Max! For a second I thought you weren't gonna do it 'cause you sounded so cranky and tired but now you are and we're all gonna go get Bojangles! I'm so excited I could just-!"

Thank GOD for Iggy and his ability to shut Nudge up.

Nudge made a small squeaking sound and looked at Iggy reproachfully.

Unfortunately, this look was completely lost on him because, well, he's blind.

How exactly was he able to place his hand in exactly the right place every time?

Heck if I know.

I sat up and made a shooing motion with my hands, trying to make everyone leave so I could change in peace. Angel smiled at me and I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before she skipped out the door, blond curls bobbing. Iggy and Nudge were next, Iggy with his hand still clamped securely over Nudge's mouth. Gazzy followed after them quietly, rubbing sleep from his eyes, his light blond hair sticking up all around his head.

And that left, you guessed it, Fang.

He was already dressed in his usual ensemble; tight black t-shirt, black jeans, black converses, his dark, slightly overlong hair hanging in his eyes, still damp from his shower.

He looked hot and-

Wait.

Did I really just think that?

I couldn't have just thought that thought, could I?

Crap, now I was blushing, and I was absolutely positive that he could see it.

He looked at me, his dark eyes seemingly able to see right through me, then turned around and walked out without a word.

_Well good morning to you too, _I thought to myself when I heard the door to his room shut.

I sighed quietly. What had I been expecting, him to do, kiss me and say, "Good morning sweet patootie, did you sleep well?" Ugh, no way. That just wasn't the Fang I know and love.

I slapped myself in the forehead when I realized what I had just thought.

_Please don't let Angel hear what I just thought; she'll be on my case even more than usual._

Inevitably, right after I thought this, I heard her.

_YES! I knew you loved him; you're just too stubborn to admit it!_

I sighed internally, wondering why in the world she wanted us to be together so badly. I didn't have to wait long for my answer.

_Because you belong together, because you're perfect for each other, because you both love each other but don't have enough courage to tell one another, because-_

_ENOUGH!! I get it Angel; now please get out of my head._

_Fine, but this isn't over and you know it!_

Finally I felt her presence leave my head and I walked out of my room, ready to get this whole Bojangles thing out of the way, when I ran face first into Fang's chest.

How did I know it was Fang's?

a)because he was wearing a black t-shirt b) his chest was rock hard, and I mean that literally, as in I was probably gonna get a headache later and c) well, no one could be as quiet as Fang and you would have to be Fang-quiet to sneak up on me like that.

I looked up at him, startled, but he just gave me that oh-so-annoying, I-know-something-you-don't-know smirk. I was getting ready to snap at him for getting in my way when he grabbed my chin and crushed his lips to mine.

I stood stock still, trying to process what he was doing when he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Good morning sweet patootie, I hope you slept well."

I was going to KILL Angel.


	2. Mischevious Fang

**I keep forgetting to put a disclaimer in, so here's one. **

**(unfortunately) I do not own Maximum Ride or its characters. I do however have JP locked in my closet making him help me with my writing! (Insert evil laugh here) MWAHAHAHAHA!!! :D **

**Oh and also thank you to Fallen Ark Angel, BrittChick, and Azzara for being my 3 first reviews!!! You get a cyber truffle! I REALLY appreciate it! Ok one more thing then I'm done I promise. I know some people are like "if I don't get 5 reviews in the next 2 minutes, I'm not gonna post the next chapter grrr" but I'm not gonna do that, I'll get them to you the minute that they're ready, I promise :D**

Fang POV

The look on Max's face when I kissed her was priceless but, seeing as I'm such an evil person, I decided to take it one step further and told her what Angel said Max was thinking about this morning. I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Good morning sweet patootie, I hope you slept well."

I swear, I almost passed out from holding my laughter in; she looked like she was about to rip someone's head off and/or crawl under a rock and die from embarrassment.

It was so freakin' hilarious that I had to get out of there soon or I was going to blow my reputation as the, quote on quote, "unemotional guy."

I pulled away from her, biting the inside of my cheek so hard I thought it was going to bleed, then walked calmly down the steps to the living room, plopping down on the couch beside Iggy.

"Whoa dude, what's got you so happy?"

I still don't know how Iggy can tell whether you're happy or sad or mad, I guess it's one of his skills.

I just shook my head in response, not trusting myself enough to be able open my mouth without laughing my ass off.

I stayed on the couch with Iggy until Max finally walked down the stairs, a slightly dazed look still in her eyes, but as soon as she Angel, it turned quickly from dazed to murderous.

Poor Angel.

I knew Max wouldn't do anything crazy like actually kill her, but it was a good possibility that she would severely wound and/or maim her, which would definitely NOT be good for the flock, so I decided I would intervene before things got too heated.

I stood up quickly, and silently made my way towards Max who was giving Angel her infamous death glare. I stopped when I was about two inches from the back of her neck. I could see how her brown hair had little blond streaks in it; how she stood up so tall and proud, how her pants made her look so… _stop it Fang. Don't think like that, Angel might hear you._

_Too late, hehehe._

_FU-SHIT!!_

_Come on Fang, you can do better than that._

_Fine Angel, crap. Is that better?_

_I suppose._

I just finished my mind fight with Angel (wow, weird sentence much?) when Max spun around and screeched, "SHIIIIIT!!!" I couldn't help it; I smirked at her.

"Ahhhh, my ears are BLEEDING!!!"

"Shut up Ig, before I make something ELSE bleed!" Ohhhh, that shut HIM up quick.

"What do you want Fang?" She glared at me. She was so cute when she was angry.

I just shrugged, knowing that it annoyed the crap out of her, and walked towards the front door.

"Fang?" She sounded kind of worried now. "Where are you going?" Yep, definitely worried.

I answered her in what Max called the "Fang-liner." Get it? Instead of one-liner, it's a Fang-liner because my name's Fang, and- oh, never mind.

"Bojangles."

Understanding dawned in her eyes: her beautiful brown eyes that looked like melting chocolate. Hmm, funny how her eyes made ME melt. I shook the thought aside as Max called out in her "leader" voice, "If you're not in the car in 30 seconds, we're gonna leave you and NOT bring back take-out."

That got the entire flock to the mini-van in, I swear, less than 10 seconds.

Max got to drive of course, since she IS the oldest , I was in the passenger seat, Nudge and Iggy were in the middle row, and Angel and Gazzy were in the very back.

You're probably wondering, "Since when did the flock get a car?" Well, unfortunately, we didn't, but we were staying at Dr. M's house so we were allowed to use her car as long as we didn't speed, or get a ticket, or get caught without a driver's license, which none of us had.

This weekend Dr. M and Ella were at some Girl Scout thing so no bed time, except for the little kids, no eating politely with silver ware (thank GOD) and most importantly, no adults.

I mean, yeah Dr. M is cool and she's Max's mom and everything, but sheesh, sometimes she can get a little over protective. Like the whole 'no boys in the girls room after 10o'clock' rule! What was that all about? It's not like we're going to do anything we shouldn't. Especially not with all the little kids RIGHT THERE!

Anyway, we had the whole place to ourselves, and about $600 that was strictly for food.

Speaking of food, we were at Bojangles already. That's funny, how did we get here so fast? I glanced over at Max and she looked back at me, blushing a bit so I knew she was thinking about when I'd kissed her, I thought back on Max's expression and I just KNEW that it was gonna be a good day.

**Here's a random fact; I wrote this entire story in the bathtub at my cousins house at around 5o'clock in the morning, (no I was not taking a bath and YES I was fully clothed the whole time) because I had to sleep in the same room as someone and my typing was keeping them up, but when inspiration hits, I just HAVE to do something. So here it is. I know I'm rambling and you don't have to read this but I just want to give myself a quick pat on the back. Two chapters in less than 12 hours. Yeah baby :D**


	3. Fun at Bojangles

**OK guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it ********. Just fyi, im gonna be changing the POV's often but they're mostly gonna be Max and Fang.**

**Disclaimer: no I don't own any of the characters, yada, yada, yada and all that crap**

Max POV

Do you know just about the only thing I hate as much as being on the run and fighting flyboys?

No?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

It involves a small enclosed space (namely a restaurant) filled to the brim with kids that, if I'm not mistaken, are probably using crystal meth or some other kind of drug to make them so hyper.

And let's not forget about the stares.

We always get stared at, mostly because we're really tall and thin and, I guess beautiful, not because we're weird mutant freaks, but I will never in my life get used to it. I fidgeted and mapped out the escape routes 5 times before I finally calmed down enough to get the flock in line to order.

Fang was standing beside me, looking off into space as usual.

Every time I looked at him, I felt a little tug on my heart, almost as if it was pulling me towards him. I shook my head and banished the thought, remembering how he had gone up and kissed me just half an hour ago. I could still remember the feeling of his lips on mine, how they made me tingle all over, how warm and soft they were, so unlike the rest of him. I shook my head, _come on Max, snap out of it!_

I had to get my mind off Fang so I called everyone up to the front with me.

"OK guys, what do you want?" (**I was gonna put everyone ordering their stuff in here, but it was just too boring :P)**

After everyone had ordered besides me and Fang, I went up to the guy at the counter and told him what I wanted, then I glanced over at Fang and he said, in typical Fang style, "Same." I sighed and doubled the order, handing him the checkout dude the hundred dollar bill that my mom had given us. When he was handing me my change he glanced at Fang, then winked at me.

Internally I groaned.

Why did guys always have to hit on me?

More importantly, why did Fang look like he wanted to rip this guy's spine out and beat him with it? I just nodded and went to pick up our order, sensing behind me that Fang was giving the guy, whose name-tag said Tom, his version of my death glare.

Oh well. At least he hadn't hurt anybody.

When we were all settled in, and busy inhaling food, I noticed some teenage guys looking at our table, or, to be more specific, moi.

Dammit, not again.

There was no way that this was actually happening to me.

Now they were walking towards our table, their eyes STILL glued to me.

There were four of them, all of them with big bulging muscles that I didn't find at all attractive. I preferred the way Fang's muscles were well defined but still subtle, not overpowering like these goons.

They were at our table now, standing over it like they owned the place and everything in it.

Which they didn't, because I belonged to someone else- I mean, crap I did NOT just think that!!

All the flock was silent, finally realizing that something was about to go down.

The biggest one of them walked right up next to me, blatantly popping my personal space bubble and said in what was probably supposed to be a seductive voice, "Hey preddy lady, my name's Sam, (talk about ironic) wanna go with me and my boys and have some fun?" He asked it like he knew what my answer was gonna be, but I can guarantee you he had no idea what was about to come out of my mouth.

I looked up at him and smirked, trying to look like Fang did when he was about to make fun of me.

"I would rather wash a hobo with nothing but a toothbrush, proceed to brush my teeth with said toothbrush, and then swallow some shards of glass before 'having some fun' as you put it, with you and your ugly ass friends." Not bad eh?

The look on Sam's face reminded me of what Total did to people that didn't know he could talk. Utter bemusement, confusion, and in his case, anger.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Nobody talks to The Blood's like that!"

The dude, Sam, turned and motioned for his buddies to come forward until they had surrounded our table. We were in the middle of a public restaurant for goodness sake, what did they expect to do to us?!

He smiled down at me evilly and whispered just loud enough for ME to hear.

Or so he thought. "Look cunt, if you don't want your family to get messed up real bad, you're gonna come with us and when we're done with you, you're gonna pretend you fell down the stairs, something plausible, so no one will suspect anything."

"Ohh, I'm quaking in my bright yellow boots," I shot back at him.

Rage overwhelmed his face and he raised his hand, preparing to slap me when I heard a voice as cool as ice say dangerously, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I shivered when I heard Fang say that. He sounded downright deadly. Sam stopped for a moment, but then his hand rose a little higher and he sneered at Fang.

"Oh really, well what are you gonna do if hit your girlfriend?"

Shit, I was gonna get it for that later.

I felt Fang glaring daggers at the guy as he replied in his darkest and most dangerous voice yet, "I. Will. Kill you. If. You. Put. One. Finger. On. Her.

Ohhhh SHIT!! He was HOT when he was threatening people! Oops, forget I just thought that. Back to reality.

Sam just stared at him, eyes wide and locked on Fang's like a rabbit that was hypnotized by a snake. I smiled widely at Sam and his thugs and said in the brightest voice I could manage, "I think you guys should go now, before he gets reallllly mad."

I swear they practically sprinted for the door, falling all over each other to get as far away from us as possible.

I was able to hold in my laughter until I heard Iggy say under his breath, "That went well." Then we were all about to die laughing, except Fang of course, but even he managed a half-smile that brightened my outlook on the day considerably.

'**Ello there everyone! I just wanted some opinions of what I should put into the next chapters. Do you want the flyboys to show up, Max to get jealous, the voice tell her that she has another mission, whatever you guys want, I will definitely TRY to fit it in. I'm mostly just writing this for my own amusement, but I do like pleasing people, so tell me what you think in a review. Btw, there will definitely be A LOT more Fax, just wait a couple of chapters. I know how I want to do it; I just have to get there. Thanks to everyone that's reading it, you make me smile just reading the reviews. I swear I feel like this :D, every time I see I have another review. So make me happy!!! I didn't write this one in a bathtub, I wrote this one whenever I was able to escape from my little cousins. Wow, I really do ramble don't I? :D**


	4. Only if You Kiss Me

Fang's POV

When that ass-wipe Sam, (hmm ironic, isn't it?) called Max a cunt, I saw red and wanted to cause him some serious physical harm.

But it was when he raised his hand to slap her that I could have killed him easily.

Instead of bashing his brains in with food tray, I said in my most lethal voice, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I put all the malice, rage, and jealousy I owned into my voice, making sure he knew what the consequences would be if he hit Max.

My Max.

He stood stock still for a moment before raising his hand a bit further, obviously not wanting to look like a complete wuss in front of his fellow gang members.

"Oh really, well what are you gonna do if I hit your girlfriend?"

My vision swam and I had to grab the edge of the seat I was sitting on to keep myself from throwing myself at him and punching him until he was unconscious for threatening Max and the flock.

I didn't even have to try to put hate into my voice this time, it came easily. "I. Will. Kill you. If. You. Put. One. Finger. On. Her." You know what the really scary part was? I would have done it too. I would have gladly killed him if he had put one of his no good abusive fingers on Max. I would never let anyone do that to her.

_Wow Fang, possessive much?_

Dammit. Sometimes Angel's power was really useful, like when we were trying to find information, but sometimes it was just plain annoying, and potentially embarrassing.

_Angel, will you please get out of my head so I can focus on not ripping these guys limb from limb?_

_Oh, well I guess so. But you need to hurry up and tell her._

_Ok, I will. Eventually._

Now back to the situation at hand.

I glared at Sam, trying to convey all of my rage and willingness to kill him and his cronies through my eyes.

It must have worked because right after Max said, "I think you guys should go now, before he gets reallllllly mad," all four of them ran out like there was no tomorrow.

I could tell that Max was trying hard not to laugh, but Iggy blew that plan all to heck when he muttered, "That went well."

Soon, the whole flock was laughing so hard everyone in the restaurant was staring at us. I even gave Max the half-smile I knew she loved and had the pleasure of seeing her whole face light up.

I would smile all the time if it would make Max this happy.

~insert page break here~

After about 30 minutes of sitting in one place and being surrounded by a wall of noise produced by screaming kids, I was ready to snap. I could tell by the way Max's eyes were tighter and her smile was strained that she felt the same. I tapped her shoulder and just nodded my head at the door. She gave me a look that said, "what are we going to do about the flock" and I just shrugged, knowing she would give in. She sighed and said to Iggy, "Look after the flock while we're gone, and absolutely NO driving. In fact, if we're not back by the time you guys are done, you can fly home as long as you make sure it's safe to take off. And please Ig, no bombs."

Iggy just nodded and continued shoving food into his mouth.

Gazzy looked up from his food and said something that sounded like, "Wuh ah ew goeng," which I translated to mean, "Where are you going?" Max wiped some food off his face and said just loud enough for the whole flock to hear, "I'm getting twitchy so Fang and I are going for a little flight, OK?" They all nodded and went back to their food while Max walked quickly and gracefully to the exit, pausing at the door to look back at me. I nodded my head and started walking towards her when I heard Iggy say under his breath, "Don't forget to use protection." I turned around and smacked him in the head so hard, I could practically see little blind bird kids flying around his head.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

I didn't deign his question worthy of a response so I just continued out into the parking lot where I saw Max standing by the woods, impatience clear on her face.

I understood the look completely.

My wings were also itching to snap open and fill with air so I could be cradled by the atmosphere. When you're up where the oxygen is thin and pure and you feel like the sun is close enough that you could just reach out and touch it, you feel invincible, like nothing in the world could ever hurt you. It was the only good thing we got from the School.

When I finally reached her, she was tapping her foot erratically against the ground and biting her lip, which were clear indications that a) she wanted to take off and fly right then and b) she wanted to talk about something.

As soon as I reached her, we turned and started jogging through the woods, looking for a good place to take off. We had been walking for about five minutes when we finally found a little clearing that was far enough away that we wouldn't be seen and large enough to take a running start.

Max went first, running and then throwing herself into the air, her wings snapping out right before she hit the ground, taking my breath away with her beauty and grace. When she was about fifty feet from the ground, she looked down and smiled at me, beckoning for me to join her.

I obliged, slowly unfurling my wings from the cramped position at my spine, then jumping straight up from the ground, not bothering with running, and pushing down, relishing in the feel of letting my wings out.

I rose until I was even with Max, waiting for her to pick which direction she wanted to go. She smiled at me again and I watched all the worry and tension and stress that none of the other flock could see just drain away as she shot straight up, splitting the sky with her body.

God, she was beautiful.

No other girls could compare. In fact, no other girl even came close to how gorgeous Max was when flying.

I followed her, pushing my wings down hard until we were on the same level again but I was behind her. I made my wings quiet and got close enough to touch her. She didn't suspect a thing. Sometimes it was just too easy to sneak up on her. I wrapped my arms around her waist, making sure I had her wings too, pulling her down into a free fall, suppressing a chuckle as she shrieked and squirmed, trying to get out of my arms.

But I wouldn't let her go.

"FANG!! Let go of me NOW!!!" As she said that, inspiration hit me, and I decided to try something.

"Only if you kiss me." We were falling fast, the wind whipping by us but I knew she heard me because she stopped struggling and turned in my arms, looking incredulously at me.

"YOU COCKY LITTLE SEXIST PIG!!!!" I just grinned at her. I saw her eyes get a little wider as she saw me smile, which just made me smile even bigger.

"Come on Max, don't you want to kiss me?" I said, my voice rough and pleading, as I stared intently into her eyes.

Maybe she didn't want to kiss me.

Maybe I was pushing her to do something she didn't want to do, like that rat fucker Sam.

I didn't want to force her to do something, so I was about to let her go, when she leaned forward, put her hands on my chest, and kissed me.

**Ohhhhh, Fax!! And kind of a cliffe!! I am sorry about the cliffe, but I've always wanted t o do one, so I thought, what the heck, and put it in here. It's gonna be totally irrelevant though, 'cause I'm putting up like 3 chapters at the same time because I'm gonna be in a car for 8 hours with nothing to do but type. Oh well, at least I got some Fax into this chapter :D And don't worry, there WILL be more, LOTS more ;)**


	5. Emotional Atom Bomb

**Emotional Atom Bomb**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from JP's books, but I DO own a copy of the books. Does that count for anything? **

**Here's another random fact: I was at a tennis match when a guy from the opposing school came up to me and said "Hey pretty lady" I figured it would be funny to see how Fang reacted so I thought "why not" and put it in. I know it's in chap. 3 but I forgot to put it in that A/N. Hope you like it :D**

Max POV

"Only if you kiss me."

What the FUCK?!?!?!

The first thing I could think of to say was, predictably, "YOU COCKY LITTLE SEXIST PIG!!!!"

But I won't lie, when he said it, my heart beat faster and my mouth went dry.

Fang wanted me to kiss him?

Well, that makes two of us.

And then of course, he smiled at me.

I could feel my eyes get bigger when I saw it.

Fang was so sexy when he smiled. His slightly overlong hair was whipping around him from the force of the wind and his eyes, which usually look black, were a gorgeous dark brown, so dark that unless he was in direct sunlight, you wouldn't be able to see the difference.

"Come on Max, don't you want to kiss me?" Fang's voice was rough and low and filled with such longing that it made my stomach clench.

He really wanted me to kiss him didn't he?

Oh God, what am I gonna do?

By now, I had almost completely forgotten that we were plummeting toward the ground, but I looked down and saw that we were only a few thousand feet away from a gruesome death. I looked back up, straight into his eyes, and realized that he really did want this. Impulsively, I reached up, put my hands on his chest, and gently laid my lips on his.

As soon as our lips touched, two things happened, 1) my brain shorted out and 2) Fang loosened his hold on me, letting my wings out, and then pulling me closer to him. We beat our wings in unison, slowing our fall, still kissing.

Man, he was a good kisser.

One of my hands went to the back of his neck, tangling in his soft hair while the other went under his shirt, rubbing circles between his wings. I felt myself getting lightheaded until I remembered how to breathe through my nose again.

Fang tilted his head to the side, kissing me deeper, one hand on my waist, the other one lightly brushing my hair out of my face. He could be so gentle sometimes.

We were slowly drifting down through the air, just a hundred feet from a small clearing, when he said it.

"I love you Max."

_What? _

_Did he really just say that? _

_What should I say to him? _

_Should I tell him that I love him too?_

My mind was spinning and I felt lightheaded again, but I knew that I hadn't forgotten to breathe this time.

_Fang loves me. He actually said that he loves me._

I thought back to when I had my chip removed and I told him that I loved him. I knew that I had meant it, but I had been too embarrassed to actually think about it, let alone talk to Fang about it.

But now he had said that he loved me.

We were even.

I wanted to tell him so badly, but I didn't want it to get awkward, which I knew it would, especially if we told the flock. Maybe this could be a one-time thing. Yeah I had kissed him, but he had practically made me, threatening me with death.

Of course, as I was thinking about this, we were still kissing. But I couldn't help it.

Just think about it; if Fang started kissing you, what would you do?

Stop?

Yeah right.

You've obviously never kissed Fang before, and I plan on keeping it that way.

I sighed as my feet lightly touched the ground, pulling back from him, turning my face away.

"Max, what's wrong?" His voice was low and rough from kissing. It sent shivers down my spin. Not of fear this time, but of something else…something that I couldn't quite name.

I shook my head, refusing to look at him, knowing that my eyes would tell him what I wouldn't.

"Max, please tell me what's wrong. I want to help you." Wow, two whole sentences. A new record for Mr. Silence is My Middle Name. Why did he have to pry? Why did he have to strip away Invincible Max until I was nothing more than some little kid cowering in a dog crate?! I would never be that kid again. I COULD never be that kid again. I wouldn't let him make me feel vulnerable. It was all his fault. Why couldn't he just LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!

I turned around then, and stalked back to him, furious beyond belief. I guess you could say that I temporarily lost my sanity or that I snapped. Either one would work.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME?!" I shrieked at him.

His usually expressionless face was swimming with emotion now.

Shock, hurt, confusion (love?) was all battling for control over his face.

I continued like I hadn't even seen it.

"EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE UNTIL YOU WENT AND KISSED ME! NOW I'M ALL MIXED UP!" I lowered my voice dramatically, not wanting him to hear this, but not able to keep it to myself any longer.

"Every time you look at me, you see right through me. You can see right through all the stuff I put on for the little kids. And it scares me Fang. It scares me more than anything else in my whole messed up life has ever scared me before."

Shit, now I was about to cry. I tried to prevent them from coming, but I soon gave up, too tired emotionally to even care. I was whispering now, still not able to stop the flow of words.

"I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want anyone to have the opportunity to hurt me, and if I open up to you, I know you'll be able to hurt me, intentionally or not. So let's just, forget today ever happened." I wiped my eyes, purposefully not looking at his face, so I didn't see him coming until he was right in front of me. Startled, I looked up, and was immediately captivated by his eyes.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you run away again?" He didn't wait for a response.

"Do you think I'm not scared too, that I want to feel vulnerable? Don't you think it hurts me when I kiss you and you run away? I do have feelings Max; I'm not just some unemotional guy that you can walk all over." He sighed and gave a half-hearted grimace. "Max, you're incredibly smart, but sometimes you can be as dumb as a brick."

Before I could voice any comebacks, he put his hand over my mouth, just like we did to Nudge all the time.

I could see why she got so annoyed with us.

"I'm not done yet. Don't you ever get tired of keeping up this façade for the rest of the flock? Don't you ever want to just take a break, if only for a few minutes?"

I found myself nodding my head without meaning to. "You can do that with me. I'll be your wing-man, or your shoulder to cry on, or your best friend, or maybe even something more if you want it. But Max, you HAVE to open up, you HAVE to trust me."

My mind was whirling so fast it felt like someone had decided to use a blender on my thoughts. I loved Fang, I knew that much, but did I really want what he was talking about? I searched through my scrambled thoughts for an answer and, almost instantly, found one.

Yes.

Of course I wanted that.

I would be crazy to not want that.

I can be really stupid sometimes.

I looked agonizingly into Fang's eyes, wanting to tell him that I had made my decision, but the words wouldn't come. It felt like someone had removed my voice box. So I just stared into his eyes, praying that he would read what I was trying so hard to tell him.

Slowly, understanding dawned in Fang's eyes as he looked at me. He bent down a little –when had he gotten so tall? - and asked me, "Are you going to trust me then?" I nodded my head; I still couldn't speak, and watched as a wide grin broke out across his face.

**Sorry about ending the chapter so abruptly, I just couldn't think of anything else to put in. There's gonna be a slight time jump on the next chap. So just be prepared. Also, did I make them too out of character? Ino Fang talked a lot but sometimes you do have to tell people what you're feeling. And Max talked about her feelings but everyone has to crack sometime. I wasn't gonna put the Fax in until another couple of chapters, but I just got fed up with them not loving each other yet and put it in this one. Sorry if you think I rushed it. As always please R&R :D **


	6. Too Good To Be True

**Too Good to Be True**

**Hello love's!! Here's another chapter. The next one will come very soon, I promise. I'm going to try and update every day, but I can't promise anything. **

**Disclaimer: DAMMIT!! Of course I don't own the books!!! Why do you keep asking?!?! (crying hysterically) you don't have to remind me every time I get on here!! It already hurts enough as is. *sniffle sniffle**

**Fang POV**

I must be dreaming.

There is absolutely no other explanation for what's happened between me and Max.

So far, the flight back to the car has been filled with me sneaking glances at Max. Noticing how she would look at my wings and a little smile would come over her face.

She liked MY wings?

Well what about hers?

They were gorgeous; white on top, fading to a delicious creamy color towards the middle with intermittent splotches of brown, then melting into the same chocolaty color as her eyes.

I wanted to feel them, to rub my wings against hers. I wanted to do all sorts of crazy stuff. I even felt a strange urge to - you'll never believe it - talk.

Crazy right?

I shook my head, trying to get a hold of myself.

It was hot up this high.

The sun beat down, making my black clothes feel like an oven.

I felt a drop of sweat run down my face, into my eyes.

Why was I sweating?

Surely it wasn't THAT hot, was it?

I looked over at Max. She wasn't sweating at all; in fact she had goose bumps on her arms.

What is wrong with me?

I felt like someone had pumped magma into veins.

Max looked over at me, a big grin on her face that quickly turned to fear and confusion as she saw how bad I surely looked.

I could feel my shirt sticking to my chest and my hair was plastered to my head.

It was getting harder and harder to move my wings. It felt as if I was flying through jell-o.

My eyelids starting drooping and I only had enough time to whisper, "Max" before I blacked out.

**Max POV**

My life is now complete.

Fang loves me, I love Fang, the flock is safe, I have my mom and Ella, and I just made out with the most wonderful guy in the world.

Yep, my life is good.

As Fang and I were flying back to pick up the car, I couldn't help but glance over at him and watch his wings.

They were just so amazing.

Such a deep black, that they looked almost a bluish purple color in the sunlight. It was a beautiful day, made all the more beautiful by the guy flying beside me, but up this high, it was kind of chilly. I shivered a little, and then looked over at Fang, a big grin on my face, but something was wrong

He looked…sick.

That's the only way I can put it.

His face was flushed and he was sweating like he had just flat out sprinted a whole marathon.

I could feel my grin fading, turning into fear.

What was wrong with him?

He never gets sick.

His wing beats were getting slower, almost lethargic, and his eyes started closing, then snapping open, and then closing again.

What was happening to him?

I heard him say my name once, quietly, then his wings folded in and he dropped like a stone.

_WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! _

I dove after Fang, putting on my super speed so I could get below him.

He was tumbling over and over, a whirlwind of limbs and feathers.

This was gonna hurt.

I positioned myself under him, bracing myself for impact, watching him as he fell closer and closer. He landed in my arms, making my breath leave me in a huge, _oof. _

The speed of his fall made me do a back flip in the air, but after a moment, I steadied myself, groaning as my wings struggled to take the extra weight.

We might weigh less than average kids, but Fang was no light weight, especially because he was so muscled.

I glided down towards the woods, feeling his forehead with my hand.

Holy shit, he was HOT. Not that kind of hot you pervert, his forehead was burning up.

"Fang, wake up, please wake up. Come on Fang, don't do this to me. I love you Fang, you're gonna be OK, I promise. Fang, if you don't wake up I'm gonna kill you." I talked to him like that the whole time I was drifting towards the ground, telling, threatening, and occasionally begging him to wake up.

What would I do without him?

I couldn't live without him that much was for sure. I would still take care of the flock, but I would never be the same if he didn't wake up.

_**What are you doing? Stop thinking like that, you're scaring yourself. Now lay him on the ground and take his shirt off. You have to get his temperature down.**_

I almost cried in relief when I heard the Voice. Jeb would know what to do.

_**Come on Max, pull yourself together. You have to work quickly or Fang isn't going to make it.**_

That snapped me out of it real quick.

As soon as my feet touched the ground, I laid him gently down on a pile of pine needles, making sure there were no pine cones poking into his back. Then I tugged his shirt off over his head, wincing as his head hit the ground and lolled to one side.

_Ok Jeb, what next?_

He answered me immediately, a fact that surprised me so much that I almost didn't hear his instructions.

_**Look over to your left, do you see a stream?**_

I nodded my head, forgetting that Jeb couldn't actually see me, but he must have read my mental yes because he gave me further directions.

_**Get Fang over to the stream and dip his head in the water. Don't keep him under for too long though, you don't want him drowning while you're trying to save his life do you?**_

I detected a faint hint of sarcasm in Jeb's voice, but I was too preoccupied with dragging Fang over to the bank of the stream to make a smart-ass comeback right away.

_I swear to God, Jeb, if this doesn't work, I will hunt you down and kill you in the most painful way I can possibly imagine. _

I dunked Fang's head in the water, carefully counting to ten before pulling him back out by his hair. He spluttered a little, and then started coughing, spitting water all over me.

But I didn't care.

He was OK, and that was all that mattered.

Fang didn't look ready to talk yet, so I just rested his head in my lap, running my fingers through his soaked hair.

"What happened?" He said it quietly, almost like he was afraid of what my answer would be.

A sudden thought locked all my muscles in place, not allowing me to move.

"What is it Max?" He looked concerned and worried about me, even though just moments before he had almost died.

I willed my arms to move, and they did, if slowly.

I grabbed Fangs head in my hands, his eyes widening a bit, but then I turned his back to me, my fear making me nauseous. I pushed the hair on the back of his neck up and saw…

**MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I AM an evil one aren't I? This whole leaving you guys hanging thing is what I imagine getting high would feel like, not that I ever HAVE gotten high, I just think that it might feel something like this. It's such a rush!! Maybe I should do a cliffe for every chapter? Nah, that would just be cruel. Any way, I need some ideas. I have a few things that I want to do, but I don't really know how to get there. Sooooo, any ideas or requests are welcome. BTW, I know that Jeb isn't the only voice, but that's just how I want my story to go. Oh, and if you don't like the cussing, then I'm really sorry. I am quite the potty mouth so I tend to write that way. Thanks to all reviewers, subscribers and to all the people that added me as a favorite author and this as their favorite story, it makes me all tingly on the inside just looking at my e-mail and realizing that I have 15 or so new alerts from fan-fiction. Wow, I do write long author's notes, don't I? **


	7. False Alarm

Previously…

_I grabbed Fangs head in my hands, his eyes widening a bit, but then I turned his back to me, my fear making me nauseous. I pushed the hair on the back of his neck up and saw…_

**Max POV**

Nothing.

There was nothing on the back of Fang's neck but his smooth olive-toned skin.

So of course, I burst into tears.

I know stupid right?

Well I couldn't help it.

Fang was alive, he wasn't dying and I just HAD to start crying. Fang pulled me into his arms, shushing me, cradling me in his lap, kissing my face and telling me everything would be all right over and over again.

_Why was he saying that?_

Oh, fuck.

I hadn't told him that there was nothing on the back of his neck. He must think that I was crying because his expiration date had appeared. I twisted in his arms and told him with as much passion as I could muster, "You don't have an expiration date."

Then I kissed him.

I mean full out KISSED him. I pushed him onto his back, tangling my hands in his still slightly damp hair, and laid down on top of him. He kissed me back enthusiastically, cupping the back of my neck with one hand and gripping me around the waist with the other.

This kiss was even better than the first one. My hands were able to explore the contours of his back and shoulders without his shirt getting in the way this time. I trailed my fingers along his flat stomach, marveling at how…chiseled he was. That's the only word I can think of.

I pulled back after a moment and just held him.

I loved having his whole body pressed up against mine; feeling his warmth and love, knowing that he was right there and was alive and healthy made a few more tears leak out of the corners of my eyes.

Oh man, I was becoming such a baby lately.

I had to get this crying thing under control; soon.

_**Well Maximum, now that your little love fest is over, would you like me to tell you what happened to Fang?**_

My head snapped up abruptly, hitting Fang in the jaw, and making him bite his lip.

Oops.

He pushed me off of him as I rubbed my head, knowing that there was going to be a bruise there later.

_Of course I want to know Jeb, just tell me before I get a frickin' aneurysm. _

__He was silent for a moment, and for a panicked second I didn't think Jeb was going to answer me. But after a moment, I heard him sigh in my head.

_**Fang has developed a new power.**_

___Oh, really? What is it?_

_**He has to figure it out on his own. But just know that his power will cause some discord between you. Be prepared and don't forget your mission.**_

___What? What kind of discord? What is it? Dammit Jeb, I'm not playing! Get BACK here!_

I growled when I realized that he wasn't coming back.

Just what I need.

Jeb playing mind tricks with me right after Fang almost died.

I swear, between these two, I'm going to get premature gray hair and wrinkles.

I was lying down beside Fang, trying to understand what Jeb had just told me, when I felt Fang's hand on my cheek, turning my face towards his.

"Everything's going to be fine." He said it with such conviction that it was impossible not to believe him.

It was amazing how only five words could make me feel so much better.

But they did.

I leaned into his hand, loving how his touch made me get all tingly on the inside, even if it was just his hand on my cheek. I decided to tell him everything, even the part about how Jeb said we were going to disagree about it or something.

"Jeb said that you have a new power now. But he wouldn't tell me what it was."

And then I did something that must have shocked Fang, and all you readers out there, to the core; I pouted.

I know I know, Maximum Ride NEVER pouts.

But I HATE it when people don't tell me stuff.

Fang smiled a little, and gently brushed my stuck out bottom lip with a knuckle. I quickly pulled my lip back in, then stuck my tongue out at him, getting a quiet chuckle this time.

"He also said that your new power would make us fight, and he told me to remember my mission, be prepared, yada, yada, yada."

Fang just nodded, obviously reverting back to his quiet impassive ways.

Oh well, at least he was fine now. But we really needed to get back to the flock. They were probably worried about us.

I jumped up and looked around, trying to gauge which direction we needed to fly in.

I thought about which way we had come from and finally pointed south-east.

"Come on, we don't want to leave the flock for too long. Iggy and Gazzy might make a bomb or something and blow up the house; and my mom would NOT be happy about coming home to a pile of ashes instead of her house." I motioned for Fang to go ahead of me, wanting to make sure that he didn't pass out again.

He just looked at me steadily, so I knew he had guessed what I was trying to do.

Drat. He has foiled another one of my attempts to take care of him.

Oh well.

I just shrugged, and tried to look nonchalant about it, launching myself into the air, and then turning around quickly so I could see Fang take off.

He didn't seem sick anymore.

In fact, he looked fantastic.

He hadn't put his shirt back on, so I could see how his muscles worked when he was flying, and believe me, it was quite a sight.

He rose up next to me and raised an eyebrow.

I had been staring at him for a while.

I blushed furiously, and looked down, turning towards home.

**BAHAHAHAHA!!! Did I fool anyone? I hope so (smiles evilly). Also, kudos to RustyW1ngs for guessing what I was doing. I STILL NEED IDEAS!!! Anything you guys want, more Fax, maybe some Niggy or Eggy, flyboys, just tell me and I'll try to fit it in. Criticisms are always welcome, just please, no flame. I'm glad and really really surprised that so many people like my story, so keep reviewin' and tell me what I'm doing wrong. And I'll definitely try not to do too many cliffhangers. Ino it's cruel and mean but its just sooooo much fun. And did you really think that I could kill Fang?!?!?! Come on, what is wrong with you people!?!?!?! I will NEVER kill Fang! It's just not possible. It's like trying to nail jell-o to a wall. God, I need to stop these long authors notes. Thanks for reading!!! :D**


	8. Bombs and Love

**Hello there, readers, reviewers, and other random people that decided to stop by. Welcome to my story. Hope you like it. There's another time jump on this one. And I'm gonna try and write from someone else's POV. I've always wondered how Gazzy looked at things, so I'm gonna put him in here and see if it sounds right. If you don't like it, just tell me and I'll go back to writing Max and Fang POV's only. Enjoy!**

**Gazzy POV**

_Nitroglycerin? _

_Check._

_Gasoline?_

_Check._

_Extra long fuse?_

_Check. _

I looked over at Iggy, who was working on the timer, and grinned evilly, even though I knew he wasn't able to see me. This was going to be our best bomb yet, even better than Big Boy. Iggy had "found" some nitroglycerin, which, as everyone knows, is extremely explosive when exposed to any type of heat or bright light, and we were making a more advanced bomb than usual. We didn't know when we were gonna be able to use it, but it's always good to have a couple of extra bombs around, just in case.

We were just finishing up when Iggy turned his head toward the door.

"They're back my little pyromaniac in trainin," he said quietly as he began gathering up all the materials, and putting the almost complete bomb in the hiding place behind his and Fang's dresser. I listened harder, and could barely make out the sound of the mini-vans tires crunching on the gravel.

Iggy's hearing is even better than the rest of the flocks.

When we were done cleaning up, leaving no evidence of what we were doing, we headed downstairs; wanting to know what had taken Max and Fang so long.

As soon as I saw them, I think I gagged.

Fang was holding Max's hand, and then, right in front of everyone, kissed her on the cheek.

Ewwwww.

I guess Max is pretty, but I didn't want to kiss her.

"Gazzy, man, what's happening."

Oops. I forgot Iggy couldn't see what was going on.

"Fang's holding Max's hand, and then he kissed her."

"No way. Are you serious?"

"Yep" I told him, popping the 'p'.

He looked really happy, but I couldn't figure out why.

**Fang POV**

Max, being Max, didn't want the flock to know that we were…hmm, dating just doesn't sound right so how about, completely and madly in love?

No?

OK the, how about this one?

We were an item.

Nah, it still sounds weird.

Wait a minute, I've got one

We were _together._

It doesn't say too little, it doesn't say too much, it's perfect.

Anyway, she didn't want to tell anyone that we were _together _now_. _But, me being me, I just couldn't let her do that, so I grabbed her hand right before we walked in the door and smiled at her, knowing that she would forget all about us holding hands if I distracted her. She blushed, which made her look so daggone cute that I HAD to kiss her, even if it was just on the cheek.

Of course, right then, Iggy and Gazzy walked down the stairs.

As soon as the Gasman saw us, he looked like he was about to choke.

Poor kid.

He was only around 8 now, but when he hit puberty, he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes or hands to himself. He would be just another sexist pig to Max.

Iggy was with Gazzy, but he couldn't see us, so we would have to tell him outright.

He was the only one that I had even hinted to, besides Max herself, that I liked Max more than as a friend. He had been encouraging me for weeks to tell her how I felt, but not for the same reasons as mine. Frequently, he had told me to tell her my innermost feelings so I could 'get some' and then tell him what it was like afterwards.

God knows I love Iggy, but I can see why Max calls him a sexist pig all the time.

If only she knew what we talked about when she couldn't hear.

He would never live it down.

No, scratch that.

He wouldn't live at all.

I heard Iggy ask the Gasman what was happening.

Gazzy looked grossed out, but he told Iggy that we were holding hands and that I had just kissed Max.

He looked really happy after Gazzy told him that.

Hmm, I wonder what was on his mind.

Then a sudden thought struck me.

Oh.

Fucking.

Shit.

I had asked Iggy a while ago to keep the sex jokes and innuendos down to a minimum because I didn't want Max to get uncomfortable. But now that we were together, he would think of it as open season for Max and Fang sex jokes.

Fuck.

I had to talk with him before he had a chance to say any of the ones that he surely had stored in his head, so I pulled Max toward the living room, completely ignoring Iggy for the time being, wanting to get this whole thing over with so I could talk to Ig as soon as possible.

Nudge and Angel were sitting on the couch, talking -actually Nudge was doing most of the talking, something about day wear for penguins- Angel was just smiling evilly at us, looking disturbingly like Max did when she was about to tell someone off; expectant and gleeful.

Angel looked like Mini-Max.

She looked over at me and I knew she had heard what I was thinking.

_I'm glad you think I look like Max, 'cause you think Max is the most beoootiful girl in the whole wide world. _

I just shrugged at her.

I didn't want to lie and tell her I didn't think that.

I practically had to drag Max over in front of Nudge, who was still talking to Angel, completely oblivious that we were standing right there. I swear, when Nudge was talking, an elephant with metal cans tied around its legs could sneak up on her.

Sheesh.

Max cleared her throat.

Whew.

Thankfully, I wouldn't have to tell Nudge about us, who would probably go on and on about how she knew we were meant to be and she had seen it coming and that we needed to go shopping blah blah blah. I mean, I love Nudge, but I always dreaded being near her in fear that she might start talking to me and I would never be able to get her to shut up.

Max had just opened her mouth when Angel practically shrieked, "NUDGE, THEY'RE TOGETHER NOW!" as loud as she possibly could.

Nudge just looked at us with big eyes.

"OHMYGOSH, really?! I knew it. You guys are just so perfect for each other because you both get twitchy when we're in restaurants and you both hate shopping, but I can't really see how you can hate shopping 'cause it's just so much fun. You can try stuff on even if you know you can't afford it, and there are all sorts of cool things there and at some malls there are even food courts which are delicious because there are so many different places you can eat. Are you guys gonna go on a date? Because you could totally go to a restaurant and Ella and I can make Max look nice and-"

Angel had slapped a hand over Nudge's mouth, successfully shutting her up.

Just then, Iggy and Gazzy walked over.

Perfect.

"What's this I hear about dates and Max and Fang?"

I bet you'll never be able to guess who that was.

**Ok guys, I know I didn't put any action and hardly any Fax, but I have an excuse. Honors Geometry. I think those two words say it all. Any who, I want your opinions, nay, I NEED your opinions. I want to know what all of you guys want me to put in here. For now though, I think I'm just gonna keep it with little to no action and a whole crap load of Fax. Oh and I wonder if you guys can guess Fang's new power??? Even though I haven't even hinted at it yet. At first I was gonna have it be one thing, but then when I thought about it, it was really dumb so I had to think of another one and I like this one a WHOLE lot better. I am gonna put some kind of clue or hint in the next chapter, so just be prepared and read carefully. I tried to some humor in this chappie, just 'cause I like making people laugh. And if you didn't think it was funny, laugh anyway, just to make me feel better ******


	9. Sex Jokes and Dreams

**Hey guys, I just wanted to wish a Happy Birthday to sweetycheeks.1360. This chapter is dedicated to her. Hope you like it sweetycheeks :D**

**Iggy POV**

YES!

Max and Fang are finally together, so now I can make all the sex jokes I want to about them.

Max will probably kill me and Fang will want to, but it doesn't matter.

I have a full arsenal of sex jokes and I just can't WAIT to use 'em. (insert evil laughter here)

I could here Nudge talking to Angel about penguins- something about daywear?- when Angel suddenly screeched as loud as she possibly could, "NUDGE, THEY'RE TOGETHER NOW!"

I winced as I heard it. Angel almost sounded like a bat when she screamed like that.

Gazzy and I walked into the living room while Nudge was going on her little rant. She is still the only person I know that can start talking about Max and Fang, then find a connection to the mall, and then go on about dates in such a short time and in one breath.

I had to say something to get the ball rolling about Max and Fang so I could start shooting out jokes left and right, but I would save the really bad ones for just us older kids.

"What's this I hear about dates and Max and Fang?"

I heard and felt them all turn towards me and I could practically FEEL Max blushing.

I just grinned like the wicked sexist pig that I am.

"Well," Max stammered, "Fang and I are kind of dating now."

I put on my best reproving face and said in a serious voice, "You two are being safe aren't you?"

"No!"

"You're not? Well then I guess we're gonna have some little Max's and Fang's running around here soon. That's what you get for not using protection."

"YOU LITTLE FUCKER!"

"Hey, that's what you and Fang are, so don't be yelling at me."

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"That's what she said."

Oh my God, it felt so good to get it all out!

Even if Max did punch me in the stomach, it was all worth it.

She stormed past me, conveniently stomping on my foot, but I just smiled blissfully as Fang went by, probably to calm her down.

The only thing I regretted was that I couldn't see her face. It would have been so nice to see the mortification that I could clearly hear in her voice.

Oh well, maybe my next power would be to get my sight back. Then I would be able to SEE all the hot girls Fang's always telling me about instead of just HEARING them.

**Max POV**

I don't know how Iggy does it, but he's able to turn anything you say into either a sex joke or a sexual reference. The boy has a skill, a very annoying embarrassing one, but a skill all the same.

All of the little kids just stared at me as I stomped on Iggy's foot, (they probably- and hopefully- had no idea what had just happened) and stormed upstairs to my room. I tried to slam the door but someone caught it before it could hit the wall.

Fang.

My cheeks were burning as I thought about what Iggy had said.

He didn't really think that we were…doing that kind of stuff, did he?

I could barely look at Fang I was so embarrassed.

I plopped down on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands. I mean, it's not like Fang and I were actually DOING any of the stuff Iggy was talking about, he just wanted to get me riled up, and boy did he do a good job of it.

I felt the bed compress as Fang sat down beside me.

He put his arm around me and I leaned into him, wondering how he was taking all of this so smoothly. I glanced up at him, but he had his eyes closed and he looked so dang peaceful that I didn't want to bother him with my questions.

We sat like this for a few minutes when I saw something flickering out of the corner of my eye by the window.

Immediately, I pushed away from Fang and got into a fighting stance, ready to beat the shit out of whoever was out there. But when I cautiously opened the window, ready for the slightest sound or movement, there was nothing there.

I looked over at Fang, who shook his head.

He hadn't seen anything.

Maybe it was just me.

I WAS tired and emotionally drained; maybe I should just get some sleep.

I said as much to Fang and he agreed, a little too quickly for my taste. I laid down in bed and Fang pulled the covers up to my chin, a little smirk on his face as he tucked me in. Then he lay beside me on top of the covers and put an arm around where my waist was. It felt nice to just lie here beside him, his warmth radiating through the blankets. I felt him kiss my neck once before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up some time later to the strangest sight I have ever seen.

It looked like there was a beach in my room.

I saw MYSELF sitting in the sand in a really skimpy bikini, something I would never EVER wear in real life, and Fang was sitting right beside me wearing black swim trunks. We were both soaking wet and laughing.

Then the whole scene changed.

I was up in the air, but I wasn't flying; it was like I was just standing there and the world was going on around me. Fang was flying right in front of me, the dark night sky making his wings blend in with the background.

I tried to turn and get a better look at my surroundings, but when I did, the images disappeared and I was back in my room again.

I heard Fang groan beside me.

Had he fallen asleep too?

What about those weird things that I had just seen?

Did he see them too?

I sat up and threw my legs over the bed, no longer tired, but Fang grabbed my waist, pulling me back onto the bed and turning me towards him.

"What, no good morning kiss?" I rolled my eyes at him and kissed him long and hard, relishing in the feel of his lips against mine, his body pressed up against mine.

Oh, and have I mentioned what a GREAT kisser he is?

I pulled away after a moment, breathing hard. Man, I could fly for miles without getting short of breath, but I couldn't kiss Fang for two minutes without breathing hard.

I decided that, since he was right here, I would ask him about those things I had seen this morning.

"Fang, did you see something weird this morning?"

"Weird as in…?"

"Well," I didn't really know how to bring it up so I guess I would just wing it, "weird as in seeing us on a beach with me dressed in a REALLY skimpy bikini, then you flying at night."

I looked up into his eyes which were wide open in shock.

In Fang terms of showing emotion, it was like he had just fainted.

"That was what I was just dreaming about."

**Ohhhhhh, another cliffe!! And everyone who thinks they know what Fang's power is, think again! That's all I'm gonna say. Once again, suggestions and requests are always welcome. Tell me if you want more Fax, if you want some Niggy or Eggy, anything. Oh, and I keep forgetting to put this in here, but this is right after TFW, and their ages are the same; Max, Fang, Iggy 14, Nudge 11, Gazzy 8, and Angel 6. I know that they don't cuss as much in the books as they do in my fan-fic, but I just can't help it. It's how I am. Thank you so so so so so so so so much for all the reviews and subscribers and EVERYONE who has read this. It means a lot to me. Just so everyone knows, I'm ignoring my geometry homework to get this posted tonight. Stupid fanfiction is making me fail geometry :P oh well, this is way more fun anyway ******** Hope you like it!**


	10. Fang's New Power

**Hey guys, I'm really sorry I didn't get to update yesterday but my cousins are in town and I hung out with them all day. But now its 2:00 AM and everyone's asleep so I can FINALLY have some peace and quiet and write chapter 10. Please enjoy**!

**Disclaimer: a) I am a FEMALE b) I'm not middle aged, in fact im still working my way through high school c) im not creative enough to come up with something like MR d) if I DID own Maximum Ride Max and Fang would have gotten together WAY before the 5****th**** book, Iggy would have his sight back, the world would be saved, and the whole flock would live happily ever after! THAT is why I don't own MR :D**

**Fang POV**

I was sitting next to Max on a beach, watching the sun play on her hair, bringing out the blond streaks even more than usual. I was sitting beside her in some black swim trunks, just looking at her, then she said something and we were both laughing.

I knew it was dream when I realized that I was laughing.

I don't laugh.

Occasionally I chuckle, but I never laugh.

And Max would NEVER wear that bathing suit where she might be seen.

Even though she looked absolutely AMAZING in it.

She still doesn't accept the fact that she's gorgeous.

It was beautiful in my dream. The sand looked like molten gold with diamonds scattered everywhere. I didn't want it to end.

But then, like dreams so often do, it shifted into another one.

This time, I was flying at night; alone with just my steady wing-beats to keep me company.

I loved flying like this.

Sometimes when it was my watch, I would patrol from the skies, flying in big arcs, having the night air rub against my feathers.

There was nothing like it in the world.

But of course, it had to end.

I heard a slight squeaking noise and my eyes snapped open, focusing immediately on the back of Max's head.

I groaned as I thought of that dream about the beach.

It would be nice if we could just get away.

Away from the stress of the flock, away from everything and just take a break.

But I knew Max would never go for it.

That's why I groaned.

Max sat up suddenly, getting ready to get out of bed, but I couldn't let her go that easily.

"What, no good morning kiss?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes but kissed me nonetheless.

I would never get tired of kissing her.

When she finally pulled away, she was breathing hard, and I'm not ashamed to admit that my pulse was racing a bit faster than usual too.

Abruptly Max asked me, "Fang, did you see something weird this morning?"

What in the world was she talking about?

"Weird as in…"

"Well," she paused for a moment, obviously trying to find the right words, "weird as seeing us on a beach with me dressed in a REALLY skimpy bikini, then you flying at night?"

Although I'm usually good at keeping my emotions in check, it felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my head.

"That's what I was just dreaming about."

Maybe this is my new skill.

But what exactly IS my new skill?

Could I show people my dreams?

Could I see the future and show other people, kind of like a fortune teller? I thought powers were supposed to be obvious, not confusing.

Max looked shocked and I could tell that she hadn't been expecting me to answer her like I did. She studied me for a second before understanding dawned in her eyes.

Then she slapped me.

"What the HELL was that for?!"

"For dreaming about me in that bikini you PERVERT!"

"Hey, I'm a teenage guy; it's not my fault if the hormones take over sometimes."

She just blushed and looked down.

I smiled slightly, but it turned to a frown as I tried to puzzle out my new power.

What could it be?

Maybe I should try to do different things until one of them works.

I told Max and she nodded.

First things first.

Could I see the future?

After a few minutes concentrating on the future, I gave up. My power obviously wasn't going to help me be a fortune teller.

Darn.

And I had already bought myself a crystal ball.

Hmm, well maybe I could show people stuff, like illusions. That would be fun to annoy Max with.

I tried concentrating on an image of Max taking off, so beautiful she took my breath away.

I heard Max gasp and I opened my eyes to see two, count 'em, TWO Max's in the room.

One was sitting beside me on the bed, but the other was about to take off, wings open like sails, just as I had imagined in my head.

Whoa.

Talk about cool.

I could make people see things.

I got up off of the bed and walked over to Imaginary Max, reaching out to touch her face, but my hand passed through her whole body like she wasn't even there.

Which she wasn't, I tried to remind myself. Max, my Max, was sitting on the bed looking a bit shell-shocked.

This was just like a hologram of Max coming from my head.

But how did I get rid of it?

Well maybe I could just not think of it.

So I cleared my head and thought of nothing, something that I've become incredibly good at over the past few years, and the hologram of Max slowly disappeared, fading until it wasn't there anymore.

Can you say AWESOME!?

I looked over at Max, still on the bed, and grinned at her.

I know what you're thinking.

Did Fang just smile?

Did that really happen?

Well yeah, it did.

You would smile too if you had just gotten a totally amazing new power.

Max smiled back at me and said, "How did you do that?"

"I don't really know exactly what I did. I mean, I just concentrated on a picture in my mind and then BAM, there it was. Then to make it go away I just think of nothing."

That was probably the longest sentence I've said since that day in the woods.

"That is SO COOL!"

I just smiled again, already loving my newfound skill.

Suddenly, I saw Max's eyes light up like when she got a brilliant (or sometimes not so brilliant) plan.

"We should prank the kids."

Ok, I take back what I said about some of her plans being not so brilliant. I smiled deviously at her and nodded my head.

And some people wonder why I love this girl.

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it. For some reason this chapter seems off to me. Maybe they're OOC or something, I can't really tell, but I am essentially a lazy person and didn't want to stay up 'till 4 rewriting it just to make myself feel better. BTW, if you see any mistakes or anything, just tell me, and I'll try to fix them. It really bothers me when I'm reading fanfictions and the spelling is wrong and you can hardly read it, (my family calls me a grammar Nazi) so just tell me. Oh and anyone who doesn't understand Fang's new power, just leave me a review or PM me and I'll explain it in more detail. The next chapter will (hopefully) be a lot better. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! :D**


	11. Look, a UFO!

**I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! I'm sooooo sorry that I haven't updated sooner. I was going to try and update like, every day, but noooo, I had to do this band thing ALL DAY and then my Geometry teacher decided she was going to pile a SHIT-LOAD of Geometry homework on us poor, poor students. But I'm here now, so I'll do the best I can. Just FYI, there's a teeny tiny bit of a time jump on this one, and I'm doing this chapter from Gazzy's POV cause I've always liked Gazzy. There's just something about that kid. :) Hope you like it! :D**

**Gazzy POV**

"10…9…8…7…6…"

I watched as the extra long fuse Iggy and I had made inch along agonizingly slowly toward our latest homemade bomb.

"5…4…3…2…1…"

When the tiny little spark got close enough, it ignited the gasoline, which, in turn, ignited the nitroglycerin and then…

KA-BOOM!

The bomb exploded into a trillion teeny tiny little pieces and a huge ball of fire shot up into the sky, almost like a meteor going the wrong way. It was FANTASTIC! I staggered back as a gust of wing came from the bomb.

"Oh, man! That was so awesome! Definitely our best work yet, Ig."

Iggy grinned at me, his eyes pointed almost exactly at my head, but hey, when you're blind you can't be perfect.

"How big was the blast radius?" Iggy asked eagerly.

I looked at the demolition zone and tried to multiply in my head. Let's see here, 5 times 5 is…a number that ends with five and that times the radius of a circle is…oh, screw it.

"Almost as big as our old house!"

"No way!"

"YEAH! And, there's like a little fire that's spreading from the middle."

"What? We have to put it out before Max finds us. That sonic boom was big enough to wake up Nudge in the mornings. Max's gonna be on us like white on rice if we don't make like a hippie and blow this joint." (**sorry for all of the dumb little sayings, I was just feeling kinda silly today :P )**

Huh?

"Make like a…what? And what's a joint?"

Iggy just ignored me and ran over to our in-case-something-goes-wrong-with-a-bomb-and-Max-wants-to-cut-off-our-genitals emergency kit. Iggy won't tell me what genitals means, he just says that they're something I don't want to live without, but he told me not to say it in front of Max or she would murder us "slowly and with great pleasure" is what I think he said. Whatever.

He grabbed the fire extinguisher that we had stolen from the school we went to when we were at Anne's and tossed it to me with expert aim.

I just looked at it.

"What do you want me to do with it?"

He looked exasperated.

"I want you to make a five star meal. What do you think I want you to do with it? Put out the damn fire!"

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because I can't see the fucking fire!"

Oh.

By this time the fire had spread from the size of a small dog, to a medium-sized pony. I looked at the diagrams on the side of extinguisher and popped open the little latch doodad. I grabbed the nozzle with one hand and pressed the trigger thing with my other. This weird foamy smoke stuff came pouring out and I walked over to the fire, now almost as big as a car, and pointed the nozzle right at it. It crackled and sputtered, gradually getting smaller and smaller until it was completely gone.

Whew.

I might like making fires, but I definitely don't like uncontrolled forest fires. They burn down the trees that we use to rest on and sleep in. And, apparently, it wasn't good for the zone-o layer. At least, I think that's what it's called. Oh well, the fire was out and there was still a little bit of the whipped cream stuff left in the fire extinguisher.

Hehehe.

"Iggy?" I could barely hold in my laughter as he turned towards my voice.

"Yeah Gaz?"

"Think fast!" Then I sprayed what was left of the can on him, covering him from head to toe in the whippy stuff.

"GAZZY! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

I just giggled uncontrollably, grabbing my sides to keep from falling. It was when I finally stopped laughing that I saw it.

I couldn't believe it. All these years of jokes and they were actually real. Up in the air was a giant spaceship with flashing lights and weird designs all over it. I pointed up to the sky, even though Iggy couldn't see me, and said, "Look, a UFO!"

"Oh, reeeeeal funny Gaz., like I'm going to fall for that one."

"No really, there's a big flying saucer thing up in the sky, we have to go tell the flock!" I started sprinting toward Dr. M's house and snapped my wings out, looking over my shoulder to see if the aliens had spotted me yet. It didn't seem like it so I yelled at Iggy.

"Come on Ig, before they get you!" I screamed at him. Very faintly, I heard him sigh and leap into the air behind me. I flew as fast as I could to Dr. M's house, hoping that the aliens hadn't reached Angel and the rest of the flock yet.

It felt like it took us FOREVER to get back to the house, but it was probably only a couple of minutes. I burst through the day and screamed, "EVERYBODY DOWNSTAIRS NOW! THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!" Ok, so maybe I was overreacting a little bit but they wouldn't come unless it was something serious. I heard people scrambling down the stairs as I stood breathlessly in the doorway. I saw Nudge first, then Angel as they sprinted down the hall towards me skidding to a stop barely a foot away from me.

"Nudge, Angel, I saw a UFO and it was really big and scary and we need to tell Max and Fang so they can decide what to do so we don't die." I said it in between breaths because I was panting so hard. They just looked at me. Nudge looked mad and Angel looked confused.

"Gazzy, I can't believe you did it AGAIN! I mean you've done it way too many times for us to fall for it another time and it wasn't even all that funny the first time. Besides, Angel and I were in the middle of a game and I was about to win but when we heard you screaming we both ran down here and we messed up the board so now we're going to have to start all over and Angel's probably going to win now!"

She glared at me like I was toe jam and turned to stomp back inside when Angel said quietly, "Nudge, he's telling the truth."

"Wha...?" That was one of the shortest sentences I have ever heard Nudge say.

"I can see it in his mind. He saw some kind of spaceship with flashy lights and weird patterns on it, and then he came straight home to warn Max and Fang. But…where ARE they?"

"Max, Fang, come here!" I screamed as loudly as I could. We all stood stock-still for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, waiting for them to respond. But they never did.

I couldn't believe it. There was only one answer that made sense here. Max and Fang must have been taken by the aliens! So of course, I felt tears in my eyes, which was really dumb but I couldn't help it. Max and Fang were gone and the aliens would probably go for us next and Iggy couldn't see anything and, and, everything just SUCKED!

"Gazzy, stop thinking those things!" Angel pleaded with me. "You're giving me a headache. And…"

Angel stopped and cocked her head to the side, a look of confusion overcoming her face. Suddenly I heard a slight creaking sound on the porch of the house; the sound of someone walking. I froze and my thoughts did as well.

It seemed like millisecond and an hour at the same time for the door to slowly open, creaking a bit.

If this was a horror movie, this would be the part where the crazy alien monster thing would come in with an axe and murder everyone.

Oh wait, that's exactly what's happening.

I braced myself for a tentacley mass or a little green Martian, but what walked in shocked me even more.

It was Max and Fang.

And they looked both fine.

I was so overcome with relief that I threw myself at Max, almost crying with relief. I hugged her tight for a second, and then pulled back when I realized that she wasn't hugging me back like she usually did. I looked up fearfully, hoping that the aliens hadn't taken over their brains or anything.

"Max?" I said it slowly, almost fearfully. She looked down at me with blank eyes and said in the scariest monotone I've ever heard, "Take me to your leader."

I stood rooted to the spot, scared out of my mind until something happened that I really didn't expect.

Max started giggling. But Max doesn't giggle so it must have been the thing that had taken over her brain. Then 'it' was laughing and tears were streaming down 'its' face and 'it' was clutching 'its' sides laughing before 'it' fell on the floor and started rolling around.

Then Fang started laughing.

Oh man, both their brains must have been invaded. So now the other 'it' started laughing, not even chuckling like Fang would have done. 'It' was full out roaring with laughter.

I didn't understand, why were they laughing at us? I turned to Angel who had a big smile on her face and was starting to giggle. Oh God, had Angel been turned into an alien too?

Was I the only one that didn't have an alien in my brain?

DID I have an alien in my brain and I just didn't know it yet?

It was just too much.

So I passed out.

**Once again, I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry about not posting for almost 2 weeks. Please don't come after me with pitchforks and torches and fruit cups or anything. I promise that I'll get the next chapter up soon; in fact it's already halfway written. **

**RF (random fact) I wrote this chappie in my G-ma's bathtub this time. Maybe there's just something about bathtubs that brings out my creative side, that and they're actually REALLY comfy to sit in and type. **

**Anyway, maybe it's just me, but I feel like this chapter is kinda weird and messed up. Oh well, probably just my OCDness coming out. ******** As always, please please please please review. Tell me what sucks, what's fuckin' awesome, what you think I should add more of, tell me anything. I love that tingly feeling I get when I see that I have more reviews and story alerts, so just click that lonely button down there. It needs some lovin' ;)**


	12. Oh Shit

***Drum roll please* aaaaaaaand here's another chapter!!! I apologize for not getting it up sooner but I was at my G-ma's all spring break and she doesn't have wireless so I was unable to put up any new chapters. But, on the bright side, I'm back home now, where we DO have wireless and am putting up another chapter. **

**Just a heads up, you guys might hate me after this chapter**

–_**smiles shiftily**_**-**

**And also, I was able to slip in some Fax and there's a MAJOR cliffe at the end. God, sometimes I just love being an author!! Any who, please enjoy :D**

**Max POV**

"Take me to your leader." I said it in the scariest and most inflectionless voice I could manage, and I guess it worked because Gazzy looked like he was about to pee his pants. In fact, the whole flock looked scared shitless. Which of course, made me crack up. They could look death in the eye without blinking and fight crazy experiments without even flinching, but when it came to aliens, man they were wimps.

I let out a giggle before I could contain myself and soon realized that I couldn't stop. It was just too funny. They were looking at Fang and me with big wide eyes and blank faces; probably shocked out of their minds. I looked over at Fang and realized that he was actually laughing. Not even chuckling quietly. He was plain out laughing, which made me smile a HUGE smile and laugh even harder.

This is how life is supposed to be. You're supposed to be able to laugh and play around and have fun and love people. My life had been a living hell for so many years that it's amazing and almost impossible to believe this is how my life will be now. No worrying about where the Flock is going to sleep or if we'll have enough food, or if Flyboys will find us. Hell, we might even enroll in school, but I can think about that later.

It was just so perfect…until Gazzy fainted that is. One minute he was staring at me like…well, like I was an alien, which he probably thought I was at this point, then he just fell backwards with a loud, THUMP.

I choked on my laughter, making a strangled sound, and rushed over to him.

"Angel, do you know what happened to him?" I asked Angel quickly while feeling Gazzy's forehead. He wasn't hot, so he didn't have a fever, but what had made him faint like that?

"Well," she started, "he was thinking about how aliens had invaded everyone's brain except his and then he was wondering if he DID have an alien in his brain, then he just passed out. I think he was overloaded with too much stuff."

I smiled up at her, relieved that Gazzy wasn't sick or anything.

_That'd be just my luck,_ I thought to myself, _everything's going great and then someone gets hurt. Story of my life._

I shook off the thought and looked down at Gazzy just as his eyes were fluttering open.

"Wha…? Max? Is it really you or is it an alien?" He sounded suspicious. That's my boy.

"Yeah, it's really me Gaz."

He still looked suspicious so I used the secret code word we had made up in Germany. "Schnitzel."

His eyes cleared and he smiled up at me, jumping on my lap and hugging me tight. "I thought the aliens had gotten to you," he said happily.

I just sighed. Sometimes Gazzy could just be so thickheaded. "Gazzy, there never were any aliens; it was all just a prank that Fang and I pulled on you guys."

Speaking of Fang, where was he? I looked around the room quickly, stopping when I noticed him leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, hair hanging in his eyes. His lips were slightly parted and they looked absolutely, DELICIOUS. I heard Angel giggle beside me and I blushed scarlet, realizing that she must have heard what I thought.

Damn mind readers and they're ability to…read minds.

I turned to glare at Angel but she smiled, well, like a little devil child straight from the pits of Hell would. **(I hate that cliché about Angel smiling angelically, so I changed it up a bit ;) **Oh God, this couldn't end well. She just smiled deviously again, and skipped over to Fang who was looking at my blushing cheeks curiously. _Please, if there is a God, don't let Angel tell Fang that-" _

Fuck.

She told him.

I could tell because he smirked at me and raised an eyebrow, as if to say, 'I know that I'm sexy and can make you drool without even trying.' That cocky little bastard. I untangled Gazzy, who was still hugging me tightly, from around me, and jumped to my feet, stalking over towards Fang. When I reached him, I just grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him towards the stairs, shooting Angel the stink eye when I passed her.

Iggy heard me stomp past him with Fang's nearly silent footsteps beside me, and said loudly, "Whatever you're gonna do, please try not to scream too much, my ears are very sensitive."

I just punched him in the stomach and kept right on walking up to my room, shutting the door when we were both inside.

"What did she tell you?" I demanded impatiently.

He feigned confusion. "Who told me what?"

"What did Angel tell you just then?!"

"Oh. That. Well, she told me that you thought I looked, what was the word, delicious?" If there was an international smirk contest, Fang would win, hands down, no competition what-so-ever. Stupid boys and their stupid cockiness and stupid good looks and sexy hair and gorgeous dark eyes that you can get lost in and- Shit!

Was Fang leaning in?

While I was off in la-la-land, Fang had been getting closer and closer, closing the space between us until there was only a few inches left. I was concentrating on his lips so intently that when they moved I barely heard what he said.

"Want a taste?"

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

Did he just say what I think he just said? 'Cause if he did then maybe an alien really DID take over his brain. Not that I didn't like it or anything it's just that this was so unlike Fang. It was like there were two different Fang's; the regular quiet impassive Fang and the sexy carefree amazing Fang. Like Coke and Diet Coke. They're essentially the same thing, but one is better than the other.

I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head dumbly, trying not to look too shell-shocked. I don't think I fooled him though. He was smiling; a REAL smile this time, not a smirk, when he leaned down to kiss me.

All thoughts in my head flew right on out of it when Fang's lips touched mine.

They were so soft and warm and inviting that I sighed as I moved my lips with his, grabbing a handful of his hair and angling my head to the side to kiss him deeper. He moved his mouth with mine and I felt him lightly trace his tongue around my bottom lip. I shivered in delight and reciprocated, curious to see if my theory about him tasting good was correct.

Mmmm, I was right. He DOES taste good. Like coffee milkshakes but better. And I LOVE coffee milkshakes. He tasted bitter and unbearably sweet at the same time.

I wanted to explore his face more, to travel down the enticing line of his jaw and follow it down to his neck, maybe even go a bit farther to his collarbone. But I couldn't move my lips from his. They were just so damn addictive.

Fang pulled away and I almost growled at him. I wanted his lips back on mine.

NOW.

But Fang just held me off of him, a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, it turned from confused to angry and scared. And Fang NEVER looks scared so I knew it had to be something bad. I tried to turn around but as I did, three things happened simultaneously.

I heard Fang shout, "Max, DUCK!"

I heard someone's high cold laughter right behind me.

I felt a sharp pain explode in the back of my head.

My last thought before I blacked out was, "Why does this always happen to ME?"

**Heh…heh.**

**--**_**looks at readers fearfully**_**—**

**Please don't kill me. I know I know. I said I wasn't going to do anything like that, but I just couldn't help it! I didn't want to end my fic already and I HAD to do something or else it would have been over. Please don't hate me ******

**I mean, you don't actually think that I'll kill Max, do you? Wait a second, will I? Oh my God, I don't know what I'm going to do!! **

**--**_**starts crying hysterically—**_

_**Come on me, don't kill Max! She just found Fang and they're happy and…and… WAHHHHH!!!!**_

**Eh, after that little rant, I'll just say please please please read and REVIEW!!! **


	13. Making Friends? I think NOT

**--Sobbing quietly in a corner—**

"**Please don't kill me!!!!! I tried to get it up faster I promise!! But Geometry is a living hell and—" –makes choking noise as some random reader strangles her-**

**Ummm, anyway, I know that usually I put more humor in my writing, but I'm in a shitty mood and I decided to change up my writing style a bit. Please tell me if you don't like it. In fact, I'll probably switch back to my usual writing after this chapter, but I really wanted to experiment with what I could do so go on and review and tell me if you think it sucked or not. Oh, and if you want something that's REALLY funny and completely pointless, check out my other fic, Fang'nappers. I hope you enjoy :D**

**Max POV**

The first rational thought I had when I woke was, "Why is my pillow so HARD?" So I turned around and punched it, but it did something quite unusual; it grunted. Figuring I must be dreaming, I punched it again, harder this time, and heard another louder grunt along with a few obscenities.

I felt something under me move and my eyes snapped open, taking in my surroundings.

I was in a dog crate.

Yes, that's right.

A dog crate.

A Kanine Kamper, size extra-large.

I felt fear begin to churn in my gut as I realized what this meant.

I was back at the School, or someplace worse if that was even possible. My breathing started accelerating and my heart pounded like a drum. I could feel the crate getting smaller and smaller, the walls closing in on me. I was gasping for air, trying to make myself as small as possible when I heard a deep voice say, "Max, calm down. It's going to be all right."

I stopped hyperventilating and looked up, right in a pair of gorgeous dark eyes. I felt my breathing get slower and my heart-rate subside.

As long as Fang was there with me, everything would be all right. I looked around again, trying to map everything out without going crazy.

Fang and I were squished into a dog crate in a room with white walls. Inside the room was operating tables and trays with needles and all sorts of medical instruments laid out on them. The sharp chemical smell of antiseptic invaded my nose and I almost gagged.

It was like a living nightmare.

How many times had I dreamed of this exact same scenario?

Too many to count.

But you know what was even worse than having my nightmare come to life?

I couldn't see, hear, or feel the rest of my flock. I heard Fang's breathing, and my breathing, but that was it. Nudge wasn't talking quietly to herself, trying to calm down and think of comforting things. I couldn't hear Angel crying softly, like she always did when we ended up back here, or Iggy and Gazzy trying to comfort her.

It was the worst kind of silence I had ever heard.

Awkward silence? Psh, that's nothing.

Threatening silence? Puh-lease.

But this silence, this silence made me feel like bursting into tears while simultaneously ripping a white coats head off.

I shuddered, trying not to think about my flock and what horrendous things were happening to them now. It would just bring my morale down.

So instead, I grimaced and tried to sit up. This happened to be not such a good idea because I banged my head on the top of the crate, making sore spot on the back of my head flare with pain. I hissed and closed my eyes until the ringing in my ears subsided.

Beside me, I heard Fang ask me gently, "Max, are you OK?"

I opened my mouth, planning to reply with a witty comeback, but what came out instead was, "Unghhhh."

How embarrassing. I mean, it was only a little bump on the head. It just shows how out of practice I am, moaning and groaning at the smallest thing when I've broken bones and not said a word!

I sighed and sat up, more carefully this time, double checking just in case I had missed my flock, but I still couldn't see them.

I looked over at Fang and just had to know how we had gotten to my personal hell.

"Fang, what happened?"

He was silent for a moment, his eyes boring into my own, but then he scrunched up his eyes and muttered, "Watch."

I didn't understand what he meant until I saw a black square appear out of thin air right in front of me, like a little T.V. As I stared at it in wonder, figures started appearing on the screen; they were blurry at first, but after a moment, they came into focus, and I gasped as I realized what this was.

It was a video of my flock fighting.

And it almost broke my heart.

There was my baby Angel, fighting while tears were streaming down her cheeks, and taking out a flyboy all by herself. Gazzy was with Iggy, and I could see Gazzy yelling directions at Iggy, telling him where they were so he could help. Nudge was cornered but was fighting fiercely, slamming her fist into a flyboys face as I watched she grinned the bitch-I-just-knocked-you-unconscious-and-you-didn't-even-know-what-hit-you grin as the flyboy fell to his knees.

She had gotten that grin from me.

And finally, Fang.

I was watching all of this from Fang's point of view and could tell that he was surrounded, but he didn't give up. He kept punching and kicking and doing whatever he could, but after a few minutes of this, even he could realize that he was fighting a losing battle and he yelled for the flock to U and A.

As soon as they heard him, they all sprinted towards the door, making my heart swell with pride, and dashed outside, snapping their wings open on the porch and jumping into the air.

Now only Fang was left.

He turned towards the door, but before he could do anything, a cloth was pressed over his face and he sucked in a surprised breath. Only seconds later he was unconscious.

I had been so absorbed with the hologram, that I had completely forgotten Fang was sitting right next to me. So when I started crying silently, from relief, from anxiety, from pride, from whatever, I didn't expect to be pulled into his rock hard shoulder. But instead of pulling away like I usually do, I leaned into him, sobbing into his shirt.

Once again, I was crying like a big baby, ruining yet another of his shirts. Oh well, he didn't seem to mind.

When I was done with my little pity party, I decided that a plan had to be made. I sure as hell wasn't going to stay here for long.

I could already feel the bad effect places like this had on me. It felt as if something was sucking out my soul like…something that sucks out people's souls.

I looked over at Fang, getting ready to say something inspiring so we could bust out of here, but he shook his head and pointed at the door.

I listened closer and could hear soft footsteps approaching the door. The footsteps could have gone on past our room, but, of course, when it's Maximum Ride, nothing good or easy ever happens.

Quickly, I scrubbed away the remainder of my tears, drying my eyes and putting on my fiercest, most deadly glare. The door slide aside but, instead of a white coat with a big ass needle coming in, it was a teenager.

As far as I could tell, he was a normal teenage guy. But, as we all know, looks can be deceiving.

He was average height with flaming red hair, pale skin and dull gray eyes. He probably would have looked good if a) he was Fang b) he didn't smell like antiseptic and c) he didn't have an evil sneer on his face.

But since he did have all those things, he was down-right ugly.

He sauntered into the room like he owned the place and leaned down in front of Fang's and my crate.

Then he started to laugh.

It was the same high cold laugh that I had heard before I was knocked out. It made my blood boil just to hear it. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down so I wouldn't do something dumb like rip his stupid perfectly straight nose out of his face and stomping on it.

Then he started talking in the most annoying nasally voice you've ever heard in your ENTIRE LIFE!

"Looks like we've got the two lovebirds locked in a cage. Don't try and peck your way out or anything." He sneered into the cage, obviously marveling at his own wit.

I don't know what it was, but something about this guy just made me crazy. I couldn't think straight and it looked like someone had put red paper in front of my eyes, coloring everything blood-red.

Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Sure, I've hated a lot of people in my day, probably more than your average 14 year old, but this was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was an all-consuming rage that made me feel as if I was going to explode at any second.

I shook my head, trying to clear it, and retorted in a hate-filled voice, "Who the hell are YOU?"

He just smiled grotesquely and leaned down a little farther so, if the bars of the cage hadn't been in the way, we probably would have been touching noses.

"I'm your worst nightmare, bitch."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Oh please, like I haven't heard THAT one before. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, I've even used it a few times, right Fang?" I looked back at Fang whose face was an almost impenetrable mask.

Key word; almost.

His eyes were tight with worry and anger, and I could see them widen slightly when he saw the murderous look on my face. He looked at me questioningly, but I shook my head almost imperceptibly, telling him with my eyes that I would explain later. He gave no sign of what passed between us but he nodded his head in answer to my previous question, so I turned back around.

The guy—man I have got to figure out what his name is—looked like he wanted to kill me, and, believe me, the feeling was mutual.

"So," I started, trying to find out what I could do to annoy this guy, "what's your name? And how old are you? You look like you might be 11."

He bristled at my last remark and I mentally patted myself on the back. I had struck a nerve.

"Well, Maxie," I growled a little when he said that. No one and I mean NO ONE calls me Maxie, "the people here call me experiment 7392X2WH, but I've given myself a name, just like you and your precious flock. I am, Phoenix. Would you like me to show you why I gave myself that name?"

No.

Did I have a choice?

No.

So I just shrugged my shoulders, carefully plastering a look of utter boredom on my face.

'Phoenix' stood up straight and took a few paces backward, until he was 6 or 7 feet away, then he spread his arms and put his feet in line with his shoulders.

His eyes closed and I felt a wall of heat explode out from him, enveloping Fang and I almost instantly.

My eyes starting watering and I could smell burning flesh. I looked down to see if it was me or Fang, but, as I soon realized, it was coming from Phoenix.

He was burning himself alive.

All I could do was stare at him as flames wrapped themselves around his body, licking hungrily at his clothes, eating away his skin. His hair, the brightest part of his body, blended in with the fire, swirling around his head.

Suddenly, his eyes popped open, and they weren't the same dull gray color as before, they were red, as red as newly shed blood, as red as the fire licking away at him, as red as the explosion of a nuclear bomb.

I tried to tear my eyes away from his slowly deteriorating body, but to no avail.

I was a mouse trapped in a snake's gaze.

It was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen, and that's saying something.

**I know, I know, I deserve to die. I should be shot, strangled, drowned, stabbed, set on fire, suffer from hypothermia, be eaten by a bear, and many other, more explicit ways to make sure that I die a painful and lingering death. To all of you who want to kill me (again) I'm reallllllly really sorry. And if you want to tell me, in detail, how you want to kill me, then please review and, along with the death threats, tell me how the chappie was. By the way, technically it's not a cliff-hanger –smiles abashedly—ok, so maybe it is a cliff-hanger, but I promise, no, I SWEAR that the next chapter will be up very very very very soon. **

**--P.S. longest chapter in this story yet!!! Go me!!!**

**--P.P.S. I got my hair cut. And when I mean cut I mean it's suuuuuuuuper short. I can barely even put it into a ponytail. But I like it. And I donated all my hair to Locks for Love, to be made into a wig for children with terminal diseases. So if you have long hair and want to do something good, look it up.**

**--P.P.P.S. I feel like an advertiser for Locks of Love now. **

**-says in high girly voice- "If you want to be a good person, then you should cut your hair off for Locks of Love. It gives you this amazing tingly feeling, knowing that you're doing something for a good cause. And you don't want these children to be BALD do you? Besides, my hair is so gorgeous that those terminal disease kids would KILL to have my wig!" **

**--P.P.P.P.S. I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON!!! I can't believe I just did that. Oh, and this is most definitely the LONGEST authors note I have written EVER, and I really doubt that people are still reading it. But if you are then please review!!! :D**


	14. School Sucks Ass!

**Hello my** **amazing and loyal fans! I kept good on my promise; it hasn't been too long since the last update; GO ME!!! **

**I keep on forgetting to say this, but, if anyone knows anything about betas or even what a beta does, then please leave a review or PM me and tell me because I'm kind of in the dark here. And if you would like to beta my fic or if you think I need a beta, then, again leave me a review or PM me. Thanks for everything guys!! Enjoy!!! :D**

**Fang POV**

What.

The.

Hell.

My brain wouldn't, couldn't believe this, but what I was seeing was real.

This dude, this bat-shit crazy dude, had just set himself on fire and was currently being burned alive right in front of Max's and my eyes.

The world is a seriously fucked up place.

The smell of burning skin was all around, surrounding us and making me gag.

Max was staring at this Phoenix guy, seemingly unable to look away, with a look of complete and utter hate on her face. But, what was even worse than the hate was the fear lurking underneath it.

Max never gets scared.

Ever.

Seeing Max's face snapped me back to what was happening. She didn't need to see any more of this than she already had, it would just give her worse nightmares than the ones she currently suffered from so I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her head against my chest for the second time in not even ten minutes.

She just leaned against me; eyes wide open in shock, as Phoenix burned himself into the ground.

Talk about a pyromaniac.

I tried not to look at him, but it was like trying not to push a button that says "DO NOT PUSH, END OF THE WORLD BUTTON." The more you try to resist, the more it calls to you and if it had been an end of the world button, there would be nothing left of the earth but dust.

So I watched as his skin turned to ash, could hear when his hollow, echoing laughs turned into choked cries and finally cut off altogether.

It was…well, the only words I can think to describe it are expletives so here's just one example.

It was fucking WEIRD!

I pulled Max closer to me, more grateful than ever for her presence, and leaned my cheek against her hair, breathing her in, trying to get the scent of burning flesh out of my nostrils.

I felt Max shudder against me and I made soft cooing noises in the back of my throat, trying to calm her down. It seemed to work because I felt her relax against me and, being the hormonal fourteen (I think) year old guy that I am, my thoughts turned to other things; like the way she was situated on my lap was perfect for making out. And how her chest was pressed up against me and…

_No! Come on Fang; get your mind out of the gutter. Max needs you right now so you can't be drooling over her._

I shook my head roughly, trying to clear out all the non-honorable thoughts I was having.

This was a serious situation! I couldn't be off daydreaming about making out with Max. It was just…uncool.

I was shaking my head again, determined to shake out all the naughty things I was thinking, when I saw it.

It, or more specifically, HIM, was rising up from the floor. The ashes were coming together and forming a tall grey column, swirling around and around, turning into a dust tornado. Stray particles were blowing into the cage, hitting Max and me, forcing me to close my eyes.

I felt Max shift in my arms again, turning back towards Phoenix, but I wasn't having that. I pulled her closer and pinned her arms to her sides, making sure she couldn't wriggle out.

The wind rose to a shriek, hurting my ears and making me want to scream as loud and as long as I could. Instead, I gritted my teeth and held it in. I didn't want to look weak in front of Max; she would ridicule me for days, if not weeks. And that could not be tolerated.

Finally, after an eternity of nothing but one prolonged screech, the wing died down and I was finally able to open my eye without fear of becoming blind.

Standing before Max and me, yet again, was Phoenix. But this time he wore nothing but a smug smile.

Yep, that's right folks.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

Ziperoni.

All I have to say is thank GOD Max was looking away, because she would have died right then and there. I mean, talk about embarrassing.

It was bad enough when she walked in on me changing my shirt that one time; she blushed so red, I thought all the blood located in her body had migrated to her cheeks. I couldn't even imagine how bad it would be now. Even though this guy was our enemy, it wouldn't matter to her.

Quickly, before Max could turn around, I hissed at him, "Dude, put some pants on for Christ's sake!"

He looked down at his bare body (not being gay or anything, but this guy was RIPPED. Not as ripped as me, but that's practically impossible :) and seemed to notice it for the first time. His cheeks took on a shade almost as dark as Max's when she saw me changing and he turned tail and ran, granting me a very unwanted view of his ass.

This day just kept getting worse and worse.

First, Max and I were captured which sucks ass.

Second, we saw a dude burn himself alive which is fucking scary.

Third, said person comes back to life from a pile of ashes which is just plain weird.

And fourth, I get to look a naked guy's ass.

Oh joy. What a wonderful day this is sure to be. All sunshine and rainbows with unicorns frolicking in meadows filled with flowers where the magical leprechauns give everyone free gold.

Please note sarcasm.

**I know, I know, this chapter is shorter than most of the others and I will definitely TRY to make the next one a little longer. Other than that though, I thought it was pretty good ********. **

**I love doing Fang, (all you perverts out there, get your mind out of the fucking gutter) he's so sarcastic and funny. **

**And I know that I keep switching up the writing; first it's scary, then it's funny, then it's scary again. I hope it's not too disconcerting. **

**BTW, if anyone has any suggestions or requests, then just leave me a review and I'll see what I can do (OMG, that totally rhymed. Review and do. Get it? Probably not :) **

**P.S. everyone that's following this story, I just want to give you a big humongous cyber hug. Reading all the reviews and seeing how many people put this on their story alert or favorite story makes me sooooooooooo happy. And since a lot of shit has been happening lately, I need some happy. So thanks again :D **

**P.P.S. I keep forgetting to say it soooooooo….. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!! :D**


	15. Hello There Horny Fang!

**Hey guys, before I start this chapter, I just want to say that I was overwhelmed with all the great reviews that you guys gave me and I love every single one of you in a brotherly/sisterly kind of way; not sexually. Unless you're into that kind of thing ;)**

**Also, I got a lot of requests to "GET THEM OUT OF THE FRICKIN' SCHOOL!" and I can't resist giving you guys what you want, but I CAN stall giving you guys what you want so please don't hate me because this chapter is just a filler ******

**Just so you all know and are prepared, Fang is totally and completely OOC in this chappie, but, to be honest, I couldn't help myself. I was feeling really silly and thought, 'what the hell, why not?' and this chapter came about :D **

**One more thing; I was asked to not curse as much and, I will try and bring the cussing down some, but that is how I write so I won't eradicate (I love that word) it completely, it'll just be a bit cleaner ******

**Hope you guys like it, and don't forget to REVIEW!!! :D**

**Fang POV**

I hate my life.

OK, so I don't hate my life in that emo 'I want to cut my wrists because I have nothing to live for but I'm not actually going to kill myself because I like writing non-rhyming poetry too much' way. This was the 'Max and I are alone and I'm as horny as a rhinoceros and so ready to make out with her but I can't because there are cameras in this room and Max would kill me' kind of life hating.

I don't care if you call me shallow, but honestly. Try going for years without kissing anyone, and then make out with the most beautiful girl in the whole entire WORLD and you become addicted.

Making my intense horniness even worse, was the fact that Max was practically lying on top of me and she was asleep.

God just kill me now.

Maybe I should backtrack a bit, just to get my mind off of Max.

After Phoenix ran out butt-naked, these two whitecoats came in the room and tranquilized Max and I. When we woke up, we were in a room with no windows and walls as bare as Phoenix's ass, aside from two doors. One, I assumed was the door in, and I had no idea what the other one was for. There was a bed, nothing fancy, more like a cot, and, after I got up and did a full examination of the room, a bathroom with a shower and some nice fluffy towels. They were fucking FLUFFY!

I didn't know what the whitecoats had in store for us but it had to be pretty horrendous if they gave us towels that were _fluffy._ And besides that, they had never given us an entire_ room _to ourselves. Nor had they given us a bed; or a shower; or nice fluffy towels.

I was starting to get really scared by then. All these accommodations must mean that something incredibly bad was going to happen. Of course, I couldn't let Max see that I was internally freaking out, so I pulled myself together like the manly man that I am, and stepped out of the bathroom, only to see that Max was lying, already asleep, on the very edge of the bed/cot thing.

I swear my heart melted as I looked at her. She would probably want to get up so she could clean off—I know how much she hated sleeping in our dirt encrusted clothes—but I couldn't bring myself to wake her. I gazed at her for a minute, until I noticed that there was some brightly colored cloth under Max's form. I looked at the bed more closely and noticed that they had even given us some clothes. Fuck me, this couldn't be good.

I thought it over in my head and realized that it didn't matter if there's a chip implanted in the fibers to track us, or if the clothes will spontaneously burst into flames. The whitecoats could do whatever they wanted with us here. We were puppets and they were the puppeteers.

I shook my head, deciding right then and there that I was officially cutting the strings off of this puppet; as soon as Max woke up, that is.

I walked over to the side of the bed and gently lifted her up, making sure that her head didn't hit anything as I moved her.

She shifted in my arms a little, shrugging her shoulders as if her shirt was bothering her.

Hmmm, what to do, what to do.

On the one hand, there were some very comfortable looking clothes lying on the bed, and I was positive that Max didn't want to have to sleep in jeans and a dirty blood-stained t-shirt again.

On the other hand, I would have to undress her and, due to the chemical imbalance in my hormones, I had no idea what I would do to her if I saw her in her…lady things.

As I was pondering my predicament, Max moved in my arms again, pulling at the hem of her shirt; that was what settled it for me.

I reached out and moved the clothes out of the way while laying Max down on the bed gently.

Before I did anything, I started talking to myself, trying to give myself a pep talk that went something like this: (ok, just italics is regular Fang, italics and bold is Horny Fang talking ;)

_Ok Fang, you can do this. It's not as hard as you think._

_**It won't be hard as long as you don't **__**get**__** hard**__. _

_Oh God, stop it Horny Fang! Just think of the things Max would do to you if she found out what you're thinking! _

_**Hmmm, what things Max would do to me. I would like to do some things to Max, although I'm pretty sure it's not legal in 34 states.**_

_Dammit! This isn't helping me! Pull yourself together man! You are FANG! Not some bumbling idiot but FANG! Don't let just the THOUGHT of Max get your boxers in a twist. _

_**Speaking of underwear, I would like to get Max's panties somewhere…preferably off of her.**_

_Shut up, shut up, shut up, you ass licking little shit!_

_**I know whose ass YOU want to lick.**_

_That's it! I give up; I forfeit; I accept defeat, whatever you want to call it. If I had a white flag right now, I'd be waving it. _

_**Haha, horniness once again prevails over good. Oh, and I think a white flag could be used for bondage, if you know what I mean *wink wink**_

Of course, after this little internal conversation, I was mad, horny, apprehensive, horny, tired, horny and horny. I hate these little conversations that I have with myself, especially if they involve Horny Fang, someone that has just recently emerged and is already hated. But, despite all that Horny Fang had said, I thought I could quickly undress and then redress Max without jumping her bones.

First things first.

I need a plan of action.

OK, I'll take off her shirt, put on the clean one, then I'll take off her pants and put on the clean ones.

_You can do this. Don't hyperventilate. _

_Breathe in. _

_Breathe out. _

_In. _

_Out. _

_In. _

_Out. _

_**In and out of what?????**_

Fuck it, I'm screwed.

No. No, no, I can do this. Just do it fast, like ripping off a band-aid.

I took one more deep breath, then leaned down and grabbed the bottom hem of Max's shirt. I quickly, but very carefully, lifted it up, not looking anywhere but at her face as I gently pulled it over her head.

Hurriedly, I grabbed the clean shirt from the bed and placed her arms through the arm holes, trying not to jostle her. When I finally got the clean shirt on her, I sighed in relief and smirked at how smooth I was.

But then I realized that I wasn't done yet. I had to change her *gulp* pants.

Two minutes and an immeasurable amount of deep breaths later, and I was ready. I lifted up her shirt so I could see the button on her pants. Quickly, I undid the button and unzipped her pants.

Now came the hard part.

For one thing, I didn't want Max to wake up to me undressing her; she would probably think I was trying to rape her or something, which I would NEVER do.

And for another thing, my sexually repressed self was screaming to kiss Max, or other things along the same lines.

_Ok Fang, on three. _

_One. _

_Two. _

_Three._

I very carefully peeled her pants down her legs chanting a mantra in my head over and over again; it's not underwear, it's a bathing suit, it's not underwear, it's a bathing suit.

Once I got her pants all the way off, I grabbed a pair of blue pants with penguins on them (where the hell did they FIND this stuff?!?!?) and maneuvered her feet into the correct leg holes. Slowly, I pulled them up her legs, staring a hole in the wall until they were finally pulled up all the way.

SUCCESS!

I sighed in relief and threw her dirt encrusted clothes into what I deemed 'the laundry corner.' Suddenly, I yawned hugely, and realized that I was dead tired. Quickly, before I could fall asleep standing up, I changed my own clothes which were, very unfortunately, not black.

I lied down on the bed beside Max and tried to sleep, until she rolled over on top of me, ensuring that I would get no sleep what-so-ever.

And that is where I am now.

Hmmm, now where was I?

Ah yes, I remember.

I was asking God to kill me.

I felt Max squirming on top of me, trying to get more comfortable, as she wrapped her arms around my waist and put her face against my neck.

Well, on second thought, God, do you think you could wait a little while? This is actually quite nice.

**Just so everyone knows, I had sooooooo much fun writing this chapter. Especially when writing from Horny Fang's POV. And trust me, he will definitely be making more appearances as this fic progresses ;)**

**Also, I just want to clear something up for you guys. FANG AND MAX ARE **_**NOT**_** GOING TO HAVE SEX. It might seem like it, but it is not part of the plot (it probably seems like there isn't a plot but I promise, there is) so I will not put it in here. **

**Anywho, please just tell me if you liked it or not in review. They're like crack to me, and I need a fix RIGHT NOW!!! SO REVIEW OR I'LL GO INTO WITHDRAWL AND NOT BE ABLE TO WRITE ANYMORE!!!! Jk, but really, please review :D**


	16. Horny Max Horny Fang Uh Oh

**Howdy y'all!!!! I'm so excited about writing this chapter. I've got a couple of ideas that you'll probably like *cough cough HORNY MAX cough cough* **

**OK serious question here guys. DO YOU WANT MAX AND FANG TO HAVE SEX OR NOT???? I've gotten a lot of different people telling me different things, so review and whichever one has the most number of votes is probably what I'm going to do, so review and tell me!!!!**

**Any-who, this one's done from Max's POV 'cause she's been feeling a bit left out lately, Right Max? **

**Max: (throws moldy cheese at me) "AHHHHHH!!!!!!"**

**Um, yeah, so that's how she feels. **

**Enjoy!!!! :D**

Mmmm, I was so comfortable. More comfortable than I'd felt in a while actually. I wasn't sleeping on the cold, hard, unforgiving ground, or on a rough tree branch. In fact, I wasn't even sleeping in Ella's room. I was somewhere much more comfortable.

I opened my eyes groggily, trying to figure out where in the hell I was, when I saw Fang's sleeping face. I don't know if anyone knows this, but Fang is adorable—yes _adorable—_when he sleeps. Sometimes when he sleeps, his eyebrows are all scrunched together and his nose gets all crinkled up, like he's having a bad dream or thinking really hard. But my favorite nights are when his brow is clear and his mouth hangs open and he just looks so damn peaceful. His mouth does this thing where it makes an 'O' shape and every once and a while he licks his lips. And he has this cute little snore, but it's not really a snore because it's not loud and obnoxious, and you can only hear it if you're really close to him. He, of course, adamantly _refuses _that he snores, denying it with every feather on his body. But I'm right and he's wrong so 'neh' to him!

And I'm gonna stop right there because I sound like a complete stalker.

And I also realllllly need to stop thinking about Fang's lips; or else I'm gonna jump him while he was sleeping which was just plain _weird. _Isn't it called like necrophilia or something?

Wait, maybe that's sexin' dead people. Yeah, all those weird girls that are in love with that Edward guy are necrophiliac's. **(just so you guys know, I like Twilight. I'm not a crazy obsessed fangirl, but I do like it. Now, on with the story)**

I shuddered at the thought of that book. Ella had tried to make me _and_ Fang read Twilight. Fang had flat-out refused, but I was forced, by the hostage of innocent chocolate chip cookies, to read the first few chapters.

Don't get me wrong, it's not the worst book in the world, and, to be honest, Edward sounds pretty hot, but really, vampires?

That sparkle in the sun?

And play baseball?

No thank you.

Not my style.

I heard Fang grunt a little in his sleep and he moved his head to the side, his bangs flopping in front of his closed eyes. He just looked so…so…_**hot.**_

I wanted to jump on him and kiss him so bad.

Jeezum, what in the world is wrong with me?

I felt hot and jittery and hyped up, like the time I had a whole case of Red Bull in less than an hour. I was up for 72 hours straight, my personal record.

I was light-headed, my heart was beating way too fast, I wanted to make out with Fang like crazy, and my breath was coming in pants. It felt kind of like right before I got my super-sonic speed.

Oh! Maybe I was getting a new power.

That'd explain everything…except for why I wanted to kiss Fang so much. But then again, Fang was looking unintentionally sexy, so maybe it was just my hormones acting up again.

I rolled off of Fang, trying not to wake him up, when I noticed that my clothes were different, clean rather than the dirty and blood encrusted ones I went to sleep in. These were soft, like cotton, and I could barely feel them.

Hmmm, how had I gotten into them? I didn't remember waking up and changing. Oh well, maybe I just didn't remember it.

I turned back to look at Fang, who had rolled over onto his side now that I was off of him. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping.

I decided that I would some surveillance while he was still asleep, so I crept over to the door that led out into the hall and pressed my ear against it…Right as someone pushed it open.

The door banged against the side of my already bruised head, sending a dagger of pain into my skull, making me cry out as two whitecoats and Phoenix walked into the room.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Fang jump off the bed, looking around in confusion. When he saw me, his eyes softened and he immediately came over to where I stood with my hand pressed to head.

"What happened?" He asked in a low voice.

I just shook my head, then winced as his hand touched the tender spot on my head, carefully poking and prodding to make sure I didn't have a concussion.

I wonder what else he can do with those hands…

_Whoa Max, _I thought to myself. _Don't think that unless you want to start drooling all over the floor._

After Fang was done with his mini-examination, we simultaneously turned towards the three people in the door.

The one in the very front, obviously the leader, was incredibly short and fat. He had so many chins that I stopped trying to count them all after I got to 12. He reminded me of the math teacher I had at school in Virginia. Except that she was a woman. Other than that, they were identical. They even had the same cankles (cankles are when you can't tell apart a person's calves and ankles :) The guy right behind him was the exact opposite; super skinny and tall with big bifocals. They both had graying hair and weird moustaches that curled up at the sides.

The fat guy, who I decided to call Cankle Man (**A/N is it just me, or does that sound like a superheroes name?)**, walked a little further into the room and took a clipboard out from under his arm. I hadn't seen it at first because all his rolls were in the way.

Ew.

"Well Experiment 57243, Experiment 57242. I assume that you know why you're here."

I just stared at him.

"Um, no. In fact, we have NO FUCKING IDEA WHY WE'RE HERE!!" I ended up screeching the last part at him because my patience was fucking _**shot.**_

Cankle Man looked surprised at my outburst, but my rage had been building ever since we had been captured, and that knock on the head had just DONE it with my patience.

"Oh…um….well…" he stuttered, sounding like a complete dumbass.

"Just spit it out you worthless piece of scum," I said scathingly after what had to have been five minutes of him stammering random words.

"Oh, well…um…you and Experiment 57242 were brought here to…uh…procreate."

Ok, now I may not have much schooling, but I know for damn sure what 'procreate' means and I was not fucking happy about it.

I believe, if it's even possible, that when I heard the word 'procreate' my brain stopped working, and when it started back up all I could think was…

They.

Want.

Me.

And.

Fang.

To.

Have.

Sex.

ARGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Just when I think the whitecoats can't get an eviler, they do.

Suddenly, my shock was overcome by an overwhelming wave of rage.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!"

I swear, I think my voice almost broke Bean Poles (that's my nickname for the tall, skinny guy) glasses, my voice was so high.

I started to stalk towards them, ready to rip them apart limb from limb, when I felt Fang's hand on my arm.

I whipped around and his face looked…concerned, amused, and…disappointed?

Did he want to have sex with me?

We were only fourteen for goodness sake!!

I mean, I wanted to kiss him—a lot—and whenever he touched me I got all tingly inside, but did that mean I wanted to have sex with him?

God I hate boys.

_**No you don't Max, you looooove boys. **_**(A/N…HORNY MAX uh oh :O)**

_What?! You don't sound like Jeb. Who the fuck are you?_

_**I'm part of your mind Max, but you may call me Horny Max.**_

_Horny Max…WHAT THE HELL?!_

_**Yes Max, that's my name, don't wear it out.**_

_Well I don't know what you're doing here, so get out of me!_

_**Ohh, that's what she said.**_

_Dude, that's messed up._

_**It's **__**your**__** brain.**_

_Yeah, well, I don't know why you're showing up now._

_**Because you're horny you dip-shit.**_

_I AM NOT!_

_**Sure, and Fang doesn't get a boner every time he thinks about you.**_

_STOP IT! You're almost as bad as Iggy._

_**You mean I'm not as good at making sexual references as Iggy?**_

_Yep, he's got you beat in that department._

_**I know what Fang wants to beat in **__**your**__** department ;)**_

_Scratch that, you're worse than Iggy._

_**Thank you.**_

_You're welcome. Now get the fuck out._

That is the weirdest conversation that I have _ever_ had, even if it was with myself.

I blinked quickly two or three times, trying to focus on what was happening.

Everyone in the room was looking at me like I just grown wings.

Oh wait, that already happened.

They were looking at me like I had just something crazy like 'biggle-di-bink.'

Well, since they obviously thought that I had gone crazy, I might as well get some fun out of it.

"SNUGGLEY WUGGELY!!!!" I screeched, almost as loud as I was before.

They all jumped back and I had to try hard not to laugh.

"A WHOP BAM BOOBA, A WHOP BAM BOO!!!!"

Now, Bean Pole and Cankle Man were slowly backing out of the doorway into the hall, looking as if they had just seen a ghost.

"WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY 'NI'! NI!!"

At this last part, both Bean Pole AND Cankle Man turned and ran out of there, causing me to break into hysterical laughter because, while Bean Pole actually ran pretty well, Cankle Man was quite a sight. All his rolls flopped up and down in rhythm as he ran and his man boobs kept coming up and hitting him in the face.

It was, without a doubt, one of the funniest things that I have ever seen in my life.

I turned to see Fang watching me, a small smile on my face, and those traitorous butterflies flew around in my stomach again.

"What was that all about?" he asked me softly.

"Well, you all were looking at me like I was crazy, so I figured I might as well have sun fun with it. And just the _looks_ on all your faces. It was pretty damn hilarious."

I grinned at him then, and he grinned back.

Hmm, I haven't kissed him in a while…I wonder if it would be OK.

_**Yes, yes, it would **__**totally**__** be ok!**_

_You know what Horny Max? _

_**What?**_

_Shut the fuck up. Now._

_**Fine. But you know you want to. **_

_Whatever._

"Max?" Fang's voice broke through my thoughts. I looked up and my heart immediately started beating faster at how close we were.

"Are you okay? You seem kinda out of it today."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just worrying about the flock, that's all."

My motto: always tell the truth; unless it benefits you in some way, then lie.

I think Fang noticed that I was lying—I have no idea how he does it, but he can see right through me sometimes—but he didn't say anything, just nodded his head.

Now his face was only a couple of inches away from mine. I could see his lips, pale pink and soft looking, practically inviting me in.

I leaned forward a little more, until I could feel his warm breath on my face.

I looked up at Fang's eyes and saw that his eyes were glued to my lips.

Huh. Experimentally, I slid my tongue over my bottom lip, waiting for Fang's reaction.

When he saw me lick my lip, I thought he was going to start panting. His eyes closed half-way and his mouth was hanging open.

Then he licked his lips, which made me go crazy.

I lunged at him, hooking my arms around his neck and forcing my lips onto his.

Fang seemed surprised at first, but after a second he responded, pushing his lips more forcefully into mine while snaking his arms around my waist.

I reached up from his neck and let one hand run through his soft hair. My other hand went up his shirt, tracing over his flat stomach, then reaching around and stroking his soft pin feathers.

Fang's hands were running up and down my arms, over my back, up to my face, then back down to my arms again.

I don't know where he practiced, or even if I wanted to know, but it seemed to me that he had gotten better at kissing. Or maybe I just hadn't kissed him in a while.

Whatever.

Fang's hands had left my arms and had now gone to my back, lightly massaging my wings through my shirt. It felt so good, so relaxing, that I groaned.

As soon as I groaned, Fang stopped kissing me and pulled back, his mouth open wide in shock.

I felt my cheeks burning even though I didn't know what he was so surprised about. If he ever gave up the whole 'help Max save the world' profession, he could definitely be a massage therapist.

Fang was still staring at me.

I rolled my eyes at him and leaned in to kiss him again, but he just held me away, looking almost pained.

Then he let go of me, and turned towards the bathroom.

"Fang, what are you doing?" I didn't want him to walk away. I wanted him to kiss me again.

He turned his head, not moving any other part of his body, and said over his shoulder, "I need to take a shower."

I sighed and nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.

When he turned his back to me I swear I thought I heard him say under his breathe, "I'm gonna need a very _**cold**_ shower."

But it was probably just my imagination.

**Ah, poor Max. She's so clueless. :D**

**Again, a really silly chapter. I promise though, next chappie will either be them planning escape or actually escaping to it won't be much longer. :D**

**OK people, I gave you an update so now you have to give me reviews. It's only fair. **

**And also, if you didn't catch my A/N at the top, here it is again. **

**REVIEW AND TELL ME IF YOU WANT MAX AND FANG TO HAVE SEX. Your reviews will decide the fate of Max's and Fang's virtue!!! So choose wisely young grasshoppers, choose wisely. :D**


	17. Cockblock!

**OK, peoples. I have made the executive decision to…(dramatic pause)…drum roll please…(another dramatic pause)…NOT have them have sex. So, they're not having sex…at least not at the moment (wink, wink hint, hint nudge, nudge)**

**I'm sorry to everyone who wanted them to have sex, but it just doesn't seem like something they would do, even if they're both as horny as Iggy on Viagra. :D**

**Also, I need a good name for Fang's man bits…any ideas? ;)**

**Fang POV**

I can still remember when Jeb gave me 'The Talk' when I was thirteen years old. He sat me down and told me all about the weird new things that were going to happen to my body: my voice would get deeper, I'd get hair in lots of different places, and my penis would get a lot bigger.

Needless to say, I was completely _overjoyed_ when he told me about the problem of erections and the fact that I would be able to do pretty much _nothing_ about them.

Yeah, right.

Anyway, he told me that, whenever I get a hard-on, if at all possible, 'take a cold shower and think of God.'

Well, I don't exactly believe in all that God shit, and I sure as hell was taking a cold shower, but it wasn't helping me with my Max induced boner.

Fucking Max and her fucking lips, and then when she groaned, I almost came in my pants.

I hate my dick.

Well, I don't exactly hate him, I mean, how can you hate your most important organ? But I really dislike how he reacts around Max. It's like every time I see her, my pants get three sizes too small. Most of the time I'm pretty good at hiding it; I just stand still and don't say anything (that's not all that unusual for me) focusing on something that would get rid of my raging hard-on, like what Jeb would do if he ever found out I wanted to fuck his daughter senseless.

Yeah, talk about an erection killer.

I pulled all my tricks out of the bag, but my boner would _not_ fucking go away!

I placed my palms flat against the sides of the shower, resting all my weight on arms and letting the fucking _freezing_ cold water run down my back and sides, soaking into my too-long hair. But he was still standing straight up at attention.

Fucking hormones.

_**Fang…long time, no horniness.**_

_What the fuck do you want Horny Fang?_

_**Do you really want me to answer that question?**_

_Nope. I just asked you because I felt like it. Yes I want you to answer the fucking question._

_**Well…**__**I**__** want to pound into Max until she's screaming my name and writhing under me, all sweaty and sexy and beautiful with her hair splayed out over her chest and—**_

_All right! I get it! By the way, you did nothing for my boner…in fact, I'm pretty sure you made it worse…fucking asshole. _

_**Hey, it wouldn't be so bad if you would just take my advice and **__**fuck her**__** already!**_

_DON'T TALK ABOUT MAX LIKE THAT YOU COCK SUCKING LITTLE BASTARD!!!!_

…

…

_**Uh…BYE!**_

_That's right! You better run bitch!_

Holy fuck. I really do think that I should be committed to the loony bin. I mean, I know Max has a Voice, but that's been proven to be an actual person speaking directly into her mind. But this…I'm pretty sure I just had an argument with myself. And that's just fucking messed up man.

Oh well, I would just have to ignore him, and my dick.

I sighed, not looking forward at all to the sleepless and painful night (or is it day? It's kind of impossible to tell when you're in a cell with no windows) that was sure to happen.

For a moment, I considered jacking off and getting rid of this painful feeling in my abdomen, but then decided against it. I don't usually 'take things into my own hands'.

Literally.

In fact, I just started doing it a couple weeks ago, when I read about it in a romance novel. And don't laugh at me, but I like reading erotica. It's…interesting. It's also the un-manliest thing any sane person with a penis could do, but I can't help it. Ever since that fateful day when I had my first encounter with it, I couldn't stop.

I had been looking around the house to do _something_ because my laptop, Helga, was broken and Dr. Martinez had taken her to Best Buy so they could fix her. I usually didn't read—its not that I didn't like it, just that I never had any reason—but I was browsing the small book shelf in the living room and saw a book with an interesting looking cover.

The front cover itself could practically be classified as porn. There was a half naked lady in a soaking wet t-shirt and the tiniest shorts I had ever seen. Her head was thrown back and you could see her nipples through the soaked t-shirt. Her mouth was open in a scream and there was a guy with no shirt on with hair longer than mine in the background. Behind the shirtless guy, there was a huge sea demon thing that looked fucking AWESOME.

So I picked it up and started reading. I'm pretty sure it was on page five when the first sexy time came up. It was actually pretty hilarious. They used words like 'engorged' and, 'member' for the guy and 'nether regions' for the girl. After that, I couldn't stop reading them; I was addicted.

Although it was mostly for the hilarity, it also got me hot and bothered. And don't say that doesn't happen to you when you read kinky stuff, 'cause you KNOW it does!

All it takes is for me to replace the character's names with mine and Max's and, BAM! I'm ready to explode…

And now my hard-on is back, full force.

Fuck.

_**That's what you want to do with Max. Hehe. **_

I swear I felt my eye twitch.

I was seriously considering shoving an ice pick into my brain, just to get rid of this ANNOYING LITTLE FUCK!!!!

_**Aw, come on Fang, you know you love me ;)**_

_Yeah, about as much as I would love genital herpes._

_**Hey, that's cold man, that's cold. I thought we were supposed to be friends.**_

_Friends? Really? You think that nagging me about fucking Max's brains out means that we're friends? Have you lost your mind?_

_**Dude, it's your mind that's lost, not mine. Although, technically, since I'm a figment of your imagination, which is part of your mind, maybe I've lost my mind too. Or maybe I'm the catalyst for you losing your—our—minds. But I can't be a catalyst if I'm being affected **__**by**__** the catalyst. So, hypothetically speaking, I very well could be the beginning of the decomposition of your brain, or, even more likely, you've developed schizophrenia and I'm just some voice in your head, telling you to fuck the girl you love until she can no longer walk ;)**_

…

…

_I have no response to that. In fact, I don't even know what the fuck you just__ said._

_**Whatever…asshole.**_

I'm scaring myself. I am honest to God, scaring myself.

I am having mental arguments with _**myself. **_

Hmm, I wonder if I was always going to be this fucked up or if it's the white coats fault that I've lost my mind. Oh well, either way it doesn't change the fact that I am certifiably insane.

"Fang?"

Oh.

Shit.

Just the sound of Max's voice, deep and breathy from sleep, was making me get hard all over again. Welcome back Mr. Hard-on. I thought I had almost lost you, but alas, I guess not.

"Fang, where are you?" I could hear the worry in her voice and decided not to tease her like I sometimes did.

"I'm in the shower."

I turned the water off and quickly grabbed a towel to put around my waist before Max came in. If she saw me in my birthday suit, I would probably take Horny Fang's advice; no matter how much I would hate to have him be proven right.

The door creaked open and Max walked in, looking like a fucking wet dream come to life…which is pretty much the case with me and my dreams. Her hair was tangled and messy, her eyes were half lidded with sleep and her lips were pushed out in a little pout.

When she saw me with only a towel wrapped around my waist, her mouth opened into a little 'o' and her half closed eyes snapped open all the way.

I couldn't help but smirk at the effect that I was clearly having on her, even though I reacted a hell of a lot worse.

"Oh, uh, hi. I think I fell asleep while you were in the shower." At this, she yawned hugely and stretched, extending her arms toward the ceiling and consequently, pushing out her chest.

I'm pretty sure I could drill through fucking _**steel**_ at this point in time.

She still hadn't moved from that position, so I just nodded, positive that my voice would break like a fucking kid in the middle of puberty. I had been there and done that, thank you very much, I didn't need to relive it.

"Um, I'll just let you get dressed so…yeah."

I nodded again and watched as she lowered her arms—to my great disappointment…I think that this is my new favorite position for Max to be in—and turned around, walking out of the bathroom, unconsciously swaying her hips a little. Her ass…Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, her ASS! It was full and luscious, not sticking out unnaturally, and not so small as to be almost nonsexist, but it was the perfect combination of the two.

I don't know who gave her those curves, but I would forever be in debt to them…big time.

"FANG!"

Jesus Christ! What now?

"Fang, Cankle Man's back."

Oh, now _this_ I _have_ to see.

I slipped off the towel and glanced around, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Patsy the magical leprechaun had dropped off some more clean clothes for me, but, once again, Patsy has failed me. I sighed in exasperation and picked up the technically 'dirty' clothes, but should really be clean compared to what our _usual_ clothes look like. So I just pulled on the same shirt and pants that I had worn last night, and hurried out of the room.

Max was standing in the middle of the room, looking determined and fiercely glaring at the gargantuan form standing in front of the door.

On the other hand, Cankle Man looked pretty fucking happy for some reason.

Well, I was about to change that.

"So, Experiment 57243, have you started the procreation process with Experiment 57242 yet?"

He smiled as he said it, like he knew exactly what the answer would be.

Max grimaced and spit through her teeth with venom in her voice, "No."

His smile faded a little, which made me feel a _hell_ of a lot better.

I stepped away from the doorway and sauntered over to Max, making sure my face was completely blank and hiding my boner, which had pretty much been effectively killed just by looking at Cankle Man. But then Max had gone and acted all hot, so it still wasn't _completely _gone.

Max heard me coming and looked up, smiling a little, then turning back to Cankle Man.

He sighed and said, in what most people would think of as a kind voice, "You obviously don't understand. If you don't have sexual intercourse, we will no longer have any need for you to be here, so you will be exterminated. And I don't think you want that, do you?"

I glanced at Max, and saw her tense up.

Well, I guess it's my turn to try and fix this.

Ever since they had left, I had been trying to think up ways to get out of this, or to escape. I had only thought of one delaying tactic, and it was pretty fucking embarrassing for me, even if it isn't true. Internally, I sighed, and said goodbye to my pride for a little while.

"You see sir; I just can't have sex with Max." Cankle Man looked at me in surprise and raised his eyebrows—I have no idea how he did that because he lifted a couple of rolls around his eyes too, and they must have weighed at least ten pounds. I took a deep breath and said, "I'm gay."

Cankle Man's hundreds of chins practically hit the floor, and Max turned to me sharply, amusement and confusion in her eyes. I looked away from Cankle Man and winked at her so she would know that I was kidding.

"Fang, why didn't you tell me?"

I pretended to sniffle because I'm pretty sure gay guys are always emotional.

"I didn't know if you would accept me for what I am."

"Oh Fang, you know something like that would never make me not accept you."

Max looked like she was trying so hard not to laugh.

"Thanks Max, now all I have to do is tell Iggy how much I love him! Everything about him is just so amazing! His cooking skills are divine, his fingers, long and slender, are beautiful, and his bombs, amazing and explosive! And then his hair, oh his hair is just plain magnificent! So soft, so welcoming…but then, I can't forget his body, especially his ass!"

I sighed again, trying my best not to vomit.

Cankle Man's chins were still on the floor in shock and I had to try hard not to burst out laughing at the expression on his face.

"So you see sir," I started, speaking directly to Cankle Man, "Max has no appeal for me. It would be like having sex with a dog. I want Iggy!"

I think that Cankle Man finally got over his shock, because he looked me up and down in confusion, then his eyes zeroed in on my crotch.

Oh fuck.

His eyes glinted and he said in triumph, "Well then, who caused THAT!?"

I had to cover this up, fast.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" I asked and fluttered my lashes at him.

He backed away a little, and I took a step towards him saying, "Are you telling me you don't want me?"

I took another step and he turned and ran, much as he had before.

I turned around and saw Max literally shaking with laughter, holding her sides and guffawing.

"What's so funny? I thought you would be more supportive for me and Iggy."

She stopped laughing long enough to say, "Oh really? Well, does Iggy know about what you do to me?"

She really should not have said that.

I walked towards her with an evil grin plastered on my face and she stepped back a pace looking apprehensive. I took another step and she backed away again. I kept going after her until she had her back pressed against a wall.

I leaned my face into her ear and whispered, "What is it exactly that I do to you?"

I didn't wait for her response though. I bent my head and lay a small kiss behind her ear.

"Is this what I do?" I asked her quietly.

She nodded her head weakly.

I traced my nose down the line of her jaw and neck, stopping where her neck met her shoulder and inhaling deeply. She smelled fucking _**amazing.**_ Like woods and birds and just _girl_ and I got even harder, if that was even possible.

Gently, I nibbled on her skin and felt her stiffen in response.

"What about this?" I breathed against her skin.

She made a strangled sound.

I must be getting pretty good at this kind of stuff. I could practically_ feel_ my ego getting bigger.

I smiled and trailed open mouthed kissed up her neck, noticing that every time I kissed her, she shivered a little. I stopped when I reached the corner of her mouth, and said, "How about this?"

She nodded again and I chuckled lightly.

Her eyes snapped open and lasered into my own with a look just like the one she had given me last night before she pounced on me.

I stopped laughing.

And, sure enough, she jumped on me; wrapping her legs around my waist and making me stagger backwards as she attacked my lips with her own.

I think she was getting back at me for what I did, but, to be honest, this was even better.

Max tunneled both her hands through my hair, gripping it tightly and pulling on it a bit. Even though it did hurt a little, you definitely won't hear me complaining any time soon.

I had my hands on her waist, holding her to me tightly as I kissed her back with as much passion and lust as I contained, which, believe me, is a _**lot.**_ The hands on her waist were itching to go down just a leeeeetle bit more, so I could grab her ass, but I didn't want to do that while I was holding her, so I reached around with one arm, and unwrapped her legs from around my back, gently lowering her until her feet touched the floor. I don't think she even noticed what I was doing; she was still too busy assaulting my mouth. She leaned closer, pressing her body against mine, when something amazing, painful, amazing, strange, and amazing happened.

Her leg brushed my crotch.

Ohhhhhhh FUCK!

I wanted more.

_**My preeeeecious.**_

_You just ruined it. _

_**No Fang! Do it! Do it! Do it!**_

Believe it or not, I was actual ready to listen to Horny Fang…for once.

Before you say anything, I realized that we were fourteen years old, and I'm sure that it was illegal in just about every state, but I didn't give two shits about that. My hormones had taken over and there was nothing I could do about it.

Until of course, the door to our room was blasted off its hinges and I heard Gazzy yelling, "So THAT'S how babies are made!"

Fuck.

**Hehe. Fang got cockblocked by Gazzy. :D**

**Anyway, I hope you guys liked that one! I was up till 5 in the morning last night and I **_**still**_** didn't have it finished, so I just waited for inspiration to come and 'WAH-LAH! I knew just how to finish it when I woke up, thirty minutes ago. :D**

**This chapter was really random and strange, but I couldn't help it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone :[**

**Anyway, please please PLEASE review and tell me how I did! **

**Here's a random question:**

**If you could kill anyone in the world, who would it be, and how would you kill them?**


	18. Knee In Dick

**Oh…My…God.**

**It's been practically a MONTH since I've updated!!! I am sooooooooo terribly sorry, really, I am, but life has just been so hectic with school and tennis and the fact that math is completely raping me that I just have absolutely NO time for myself anymore. But I promise to try and do better :)**

**By the way, I think someone asked me to tame down the cursing, and I WILL try my best. I will use it when I deem it necessary, but other than that, no more potty mouth Max and Fang. Damn ;)**

**(says in deep manly game-show voice) Heeeeeeeres chapter 18! :D**

_**Previously**_

_Until, of course, the door to our room was blasted off its hinges and I heard Gazzy yelling, "So THAT'S how babies are made!"_

_Fuck._

_**Now**_

I wanted to rip Gazzy limb from limb and throw him into a pool of acid, then fish out the remains of his body so I could feed it to man-eating sharks, then kill the sharks and find what's left of him in their stomachs so I could burn it and spit on his ashes.

Yeah, I was pissed.

I turned and glared at him wordlessly, using my eyes to tell him that if he didn't get out of there in the next twenty seconds, he wouldn't be going anywhere in one piece ever again.

His big blue eyes widened, and he turned tail and ran out of the ruined doorway, his footsteps blending in with the siren calls so I couldn't hear them.

I almost felt bad about scaring him, but then, of course, another bomb went off. But this one was a lot closer to us and the force of the explosion sent us both flying back until we hit the wall, Max's whole body pushed up against mine, and then we slid down the wall and hit the floor. Unfortunately for me though, it was a bad landing, with Max's knee trying to pound the shit out of my peen.

I groaned loudly and lightly pushed on Max's shoulder, trying to get her the _hell_ off of me because, while I loved having her sit on my lap, or lay her head on my chest, or bury her face in my neck, I most certainly did _not_ love it when she had her knee practically imbedded in my dick. It hurt… a _lot. _

In fact, I'm probably sterile now. I heard that if you get kicked in the baby-maker too much, you can't have kids. And since Iggy has absolutely no problem locating the crotch of my pants, I've had more kicks to the balls than I care to think about.

I groaned again and tried not to think about the horrible, aching, needle stabbing, glass shard embedding pain radiating throughout my dick and up into the rest of my body. **(A/N just so we're clear, I've never been kicked in the balls, seeing as I don't have any, but my cousin described it to me once….it doesn't sound very nice :P)**

"Fang? Are you alright?"

Max's voice was right next to my ear, sounding slightly muffled because of the whole bomb exploding thing.

"No Max, I am most certainly _not_ alright." My voice sounded strained, even to my muffled ears, and it cracked on the word 'not.' I winced at how weak I sounded, but _damn,_ have you ever been kicked in the balls? It fucking _hurts_ man.

"Fang? _Fang?_ What happened? Where are you hurt? What can I do?"

Max sounded panicked and desperate. A sudden thought came to mind, and I had to suppress the childish urge to grin at her.

"Hurts so much…can't take much more…internal bleeding…concussion…world of pain…white light…"

I moaned again, to add to the charade, and whispered so softly that I knew she could just barely make out what I said.

"Max…you could kiss it…," I added a gasp of 'pain' here, making sure she believed my antics before continuing, "it hurts so bad Max…I need you."

There were tears sparkling in her eyes as she leaned over me, bringing her face close to my own. The pain in my dick was slowly receding, going away all the quicker because I wasn't focusing on it anymore.

"Where does it hurt Fang? I'll help you." She smiled at me, and I felt bad for deceiving her, but only for a second. I knew she would forgive me eventually.

I swallowed loudly, and moved my hands from where they had lain on the floor, making sure that she had her eyes locked on my hands, then slowly pointed at my crotch.

Her eyebrows scrunched together in the cutest face and her mouth fell open in a small 'O' of surprise and shock. She looked up at me in consternation, and must have noticed the smirk on my face because she suddenly jumped up and pounced on me, attacking my chest with her fists, and _fuck_ man, she punches _hard,_ and it _hurts._

"Ouch! Stop it Max! Ow! Shit! Get off of me!"

She didn't stop though. She just kept punching every available inch of skin on my body: my neck, my chest, my face, my legs, and, most painfully, my dick. Again.

"I" _punch _"thought" _punch _"that you" _double punch _"were" _kick to the balls, damn it that hurt _"DYING!" She ended it with an honest to god bitch-slap to the face.

"Did you just _slap_ me?"

She sniffled a little and looked at me with a glare that made my balls shrivel up a little. _It's all right guys, she won't hurt you again. I'll protect you._

"_Yes, _I did slap you because you deserved it! I can't believe you did that! I really thought you were gonna die!"

I just rolled my eyes at her. I swear she got more emotional everyday. Or…maybe she was just PMSing. Ew, never mind. Not gonna think about that, _ever._

"Jeez Max, chill the fuck out. I was just messing with you."

I tried to smile winningly at her, but apparently it didn't go down so well because her expression didn't soften at all, it just stayed stony and hard. I exhaled slowly, trying no to let my impatience at the fact that she was sitting on my lap, being mad at me, when we were in the middle of an escape and Gazzy had only left for a minute.

"Come on Max, you can be mad at me all you want, but we're still kind of in the middle of an escape here, so if you could maybe just hold in all that anger and _please _get the hell off of my dick, then we can discuss this when we're alone, all right?" I gave her my best smile, willing her with my mind to just listen to me for once.

For a moment, she just looked at me, and I thought she was going to slap me again, but instead she let out a loud sigh and rolled off of me, making me groan in happiness.

I closed my eyes for a moment, reveling in the feeling of _not_ having Max's entire 100 pounds resting on my love-stick. When I did open them, I saw Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, and Angel all staring at us from the doorway.

"What's a 'love-stick' Fang?" Angel looked at me with those big, blue innocent doe eyes, and I felt horrible that she had to hear that in my head, but maybe she wouldn't hear anything else that I had been thinking about.

Um, can you say awkward?

"Uh…well…you see…I'll explain when you're older, all right?"

She just nodded and smiled, and I swear my heart melted a little.

"Ok people, we need to head out right now before we get busted."

My head snapped up to look at Max, who had slipped into her leader role like a second skin, taking charge of the situation like always.

"Iggy, you're in charge of Gazzy, Fang, keep an eye on Angel, and Nudge, make sure you stick with me, got it?"

Everyone nodded their heads like the good kids that they all are. After she got all the affirmations, she turned her intense gaze on me.

"All righty then, Fang, can you do your little illusion trick and make it seem like we're still in the room?"

We stared at each other for a minute while I considered it. It really wouldn't be that difficult, and I hadn't even really thought about using it to help us escape.

I nodded my head and Max smiled, gathering up all the little kids and hugging them close to her, then she reached over and grabbed Iggy by the ear, forcing him to join in the big group hug. Of course, then she spotted me and beckoned me over with a 'come hither' look that should be illegal because there was no way in hell that I would be able to resist it. So I grumbled my way over and Angel squeezed me around the waist and Gazzy patted my arm and Nudge squeezed me so hard I thought I heard a rib crack and Iggy fist-bumped me.

But of course the moment was ruined when Gazzy let one of his signature farts rip and we all broke apart coughing and gagging and trying desperately not to breathe in the horrendous smell. The Gasman just smiled evilly, not at all affected by his own stench.

"Fang?" I looked over at Max and raised an eyebrow in answer.

"Can you go ahead and do your thing so we can get the hell out of here?"

I nodded again and closed my eyes, trying to remember how I had done it the last time. I thought of just Max and I, sitting on the bed, talking about nothing.

But that was really boring, so my mind wandered to its 'Happy Place' and I found myself thinking about what I would like to be doing with Max on that bed. We would be making out of course, her lying on top of me (without the whole knee in dick thing) giving each other hickeys and bite-marks and it would be fan-fucking-tastic. We wouldn't be making out for too long though, because there would be absolutely no interruptions, so Max would pull my shirt over my head and stare at my amazingly chiseled chest for a minute, wondering at my definition, then I would do the same for her, raising her shirt up inch by inch until I can see the bottom of her breasts (she's not wearing a bra of course) and then finally, _finally_—

"FANG."

My head snaps up and the wonderful day dream/fantasy disappeared from my mind like fog in the presence of the sun.

Max was staring at me like she wanted to rip my head off and eat it, and really, it seemed like either one of my heads would be fine with her. I can't believe that the whole 'pretend to be dying' thing made her so angry. It was just a little joke. And she should be over it by now. But what else would make her so pissed at me?

Hmm.

Oh.

Damn.

I'm dead.

**Soooooooooo what'd ya think? It's been a while since I actually wrote anything for fun, so this was quite a nice break from all the biology lab write ups and Spanish homework :P **

**I know that they're STILL not out of the School, but that just shows how great at procrastinating I am. In fact, if it were an Olympic sport, I would most definitely win the gold :D**

**Anywho, I know that I totally don't deserve them, but I would really, really,**_** really**_** appreciate it if you guys reviewed for me. It would make a completely shitty day soooooo much better. So PLEASE REVIEW :D :D :D :D**

**P.S. I just realized that I really like ending a chapter with a curse word. Hehe :D**


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